comedy

Arse News

March 31, 2025
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Dentist ‘farted so much he stank out the practice'
Matthew Walton, 35, found it hilarious to blow off next to colleagues when they were trying to eat their lunch, the General Dental Council heard
The first audible fart in cinema history
Fart jokes have become a staple of the comedy genre, but there’s always a movie that needs to blaze the trail for others to follow.
Plane farts - an epic story of torture at 30000ft
"I’m reminded of the epic journey I made home from Cambodia via Paris with a developing case of dysentery"
Darts star accuses rival of ‘stinking the stage out’
Darts star Darren Webster accused his opponent of farting during their match in a social media rant.
Fart Face Fugglers blow into The Entertainer
The Entertainer has revealed an all-new variation of Fuggler that trumps the originals, as Fart Face Fugglers hits the shelves in time for the festive season.
Sam Neill Recalls His Son Farting Next to Princess Diana
Sam Neill shared the story of his son farting while seated next to Princess Diana at the ‘Jurassic Park’ premiere on Thursday’s episode of Today. Neill said he was sweating the whole time because he was worried that the Princess would think it was him making the theater stink.
Naked man with poo-smeared face hid in bush
Joseph Severn attempted to insert a finger in his bottom as he was arrested
Deaf students didn't know people can hear farts
Anna Trupiano pointed out that this was an example of lack of access to basic information due to lack of awareness surrounding signing.
'I married poo-filled river'
A woman has proudly married a river and is even considering changing her name after her "pretty nuts" wedding. Meghan Trump has fallen in love with the Avon despite it being a filthy, vomit-inducing river polluted with human waste.
Hunt for vigilante daubing giant penises on potholes
More than a dozen large potholes on a road leading to Cobham in Surrey have been sprayed with white paint in a phallic shape.

*I realise this isn't arse news, but it's in the right ballpark.
Should my boyfriend stop farting in front of me?
He thinks it’s natural and funny. She thinks it’s gross and it kills the romance. Can you smell a rat?
Ballet director ‘smeared dog faeces on critic’s face’
Marco Goecke allegedly confronted Wiebke Hüster at Hanover State Opera, furious at her verdict on a previous show
Soldiers weaponised farting to wind up the Nazis
British prisoners of war would parp, whistle and ­interrupt roll calls to cause disruption and wind up their Nazi captors during World War II, according to Colditz: Prisoners of the Castle
Man bitten by a python while on the toilet
The 65-year-old Austrian victim had gone to the bathroom at 6am on Monday when he felt a ‘pinch’ on his genitals, before noticing a 5ft python hiding in his toilet (pictured).
Brad Pitt got make-up team to cover bum zit
ACTOR Brad Pitt was once so worried about a spot on his bum in a sex scene that he got the make-up team to buff his cheeks. Geena Davis, 66, the hunk’s co-star in 1991’s Thelma & Louise, said h…
‘Super sewer’ nearing completion in London
I've never seen an article in the Daily Express that I thought was worth sharing. Now I have.
Man jailed for 34 months after farting in police officer’s face
Matthew Hapgood, 41, blew a raspberry at the copper after he was nicked for shoplifting.
Docs discover shocking item stuck in man’s bowel
AN IRANIAN man who was taken to hospital with constipation by his wife was holding a secret about the true cause. Doctors described how they removed a huge foreign object from his rectum that had b…
Elvis Presley: Did ‘chronic constipation’ kill The King?
THE RELEASE of the biopic Elvis last month has reawakened curiosity about the star’s eventful life and unpleasant death. So, what exactly happened to The King?
I ended up in a wheelchair as I was embarrassed to fart
A WOMAN ended up in a wheelchair after being too embarrassed to fart in front of her boyfriend. The Brazilian influencer had been at a music festival in Portugal with her other half when she suffer…
Father hasn’t stopped farting since he ate ham roll
Tyrone Prades, 46, bought the offending food item 5 years ago at a Christmas market in Birmingham.
South African pastor farts on people’s faces ‘to heal them’
South African pastor Christ Penelope farts on congregants claiming that it’s a process to heal people.
Woman hospitalised after holding in farts for two years
Cara Clarke was at work when she developed “extreme stomach pain” on Tuesday and was rushed to hospital.
Can artificial whale faeces revive the ocean ecosystem?
A scientific experiment hopes to restore vital nutrients to the ocean by using fake excrement that would once have been produced by the endangered mammal
Stephanie Matto reveals death threats over fart jars
There’s been a mixed response to her unique business.
Bums - The Mirror
The Mirror has an entire section dedicated to Bum News. And there was me thinking I was funny.
Austrian Man Fined for Farting ‘Provocatively’ at Police
An Austrian man, who was charged a hefty fine for farting at police, got his penalty reduced after making an appeal in the court.
Woman trapped in window trying to retrieve poo
She tried to dispose of the unflushable waste out of a window and got stuck trying to get it back.
90 Day Fiance star selling farts in a jar hospitalised
‘I was overdoing it.’

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