funny reviews on amazon etc

[faceless]

John Wark puzzle
Martin B. Kelner
Durability: 5.0 out of 5 stars Educational: 3.0 out of 5 stars Fun: 3.0 out of 5 stars

It's so hard these days to find the ideal Christmas gift for your child, the one that will have them looking up at you with that unforgettable child-like mixture of joy, wonder, and almost ineffable gratitude, giving you the kind of memory to sustain you through the chilly years of old age and decline. Too often at times of celebration we parents go for the easy option and buy the child a new iPhone 5, a play station, or some other electronic gewgaw, and after a perfunctory thank-you, the moment has gone.

But imagine the magical moment if your child were to open his or her parcel on Christmas morning and find 300 finely crafted pieces of jigsaw puzzle which, when correctly configured, give you a 43 x 30 cm portrait of none other than Ipswich, Liverpool, and Middlesbrough legend John Wark? "It's John Wark!" the excited cry will go up. "Look aunty, uncle, grannie, it's box-to-box midfield dynamo, a player with a tremendous scoring record for a midfielder, John Wark! John Wark himself, moustache and all."

But this is the gift that keeps on giving. Not only is the Scotland international and Escape To Victory star pictured with the 1981 UEFA Cup, half naked - that's John, not the UEFA Cup - but his torso-bared likeness can be handsomely mounted on a black board, which is included in this unique once-in-a-lifetime presentation pack.

"Bagged on a black board," reads the product description, but that's not the half of it. It comes in a re-sealable bag (I know I do) which means it can not only bring joy and excitement at home as the family joins together round the hearth to recreate the image of Ipswich's finest ever player, but doubles as a travel activity, making those Transatlatic flights, intercontinental rail trips and so on, just fly by.

Just one minor quibble. You will note I have given this product just the four-star rating instead of five, and that is simply because there is as yet no jigsaw puzzle of either Eric Gates or Brian Talbot, and that remains a disappointment to those of us who have completed the image of John Wark, and now crave, with what popsters Duran Duran described as the hunger of the wolf, yet more 1980s-Ipswich-player-puzzle-related fun!

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