Posted: Sun Jan 30, 2011 6:59 pm Post subject: Royal Wedding guff
Get Fucked with Royal Wedding condoms! You've got the commemorative plates and tea towels - now get your hands on the Crown Jewels with Prince-William-and-Kate-Middleton-themed prophylactics.
'Like a Royal Wedding, intercourse with a loved one is an unforgettable occasion', so reads the back of this deluxe box of regal condoms. Crown Jewels, who've also kindly sent us some 'review items', believe that the amorous air brought about by the joyous union of Wills and Kate this spring has left a gap in the market for royal-themed birth control.
Describing themselves as 'the world's leading supplier of heritage prophylactics' the company have already shifted more than 1,000 units on their website since launching yesterday. Lavishly anointed with lube and ribbed for enhanced lovemaking, the royal sheaths allow the wearer to live like a king for a day (a few minutes). Don't get too excited though, the condoms don't actually work.
The Crown Jewels condoms carry a disclaimer advising would-be lovers they are designed as a souvenir and are not suitable for... well... doing what they're supposed to. 'Sadly, the disclaimer was required for legal reasons,' company spokesperson Hugh Pomfret told Metro.co.uk. 'But since our prophylactics are designed as an heirloom product, we would encourage people to keep hold of them as a memento of a special national occasion. They are of course welcome to enjoy the supple latex and gliding lubrication of our products, but we are required to advise that they are not suitable to prevent STDs or pregnancy.'
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