Patsy Palmer

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Patsy: I had depression
By KEELEY BOLGER
3rd April 2009

EASTENDERS actress Patsy Palmer told how she felt like she was in a 'blackout' during the worst of her depression - and urged other sufferers to talk about their condition. The 36-year-old star, real name Julie Harris, told BBC's Missing Live programme that she felt anxious during her first stretch playing Bianca Jackson in EastEnders. Patsy, who was just 20 when she joined the soap, said she got caught up in the showbiz lifestyle soon after appearing in the show and found it hard to keep up. The mum-of-three said she struggled to talk about her feelings and acknowledge that she was suffering with depression.

Patsy said: "It was quite a few years ago, when I was working at EastEnders before, and I wanted to change my life for the better, become healthier, stop drinking, stop the party lifestyle. After a couple of months I started to suffer from anxiety, and it went on for quite some time. It kind of just built up and built up, and because I wasn't talking about it - I tried all different kinds of ways, but that's the point, keeping it to yourself is really not a good idea. It was very confusing not being able to accept that there was something going on mentally - I was suffering from depression."

The star, who recently appeared in Comic Relief Does The Apprentice, said in the end it was her older brother who helped her get treatment. Patsy's brother took her to a treatment centre to help her through her 'blackout' after she said she couldn't face going in to work. The EastEnders star has since urged other sufferers to talk about their feelings and seek help.

[SpursFan1902]

I missed her the first time around but I really like her. Her screechy voice is sometimes like nails on a chalkboard, but she has back bone and doesn't take crap from anyone. It sounds like she is pretty strong in real life too.

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Brother of EastEnders star Patsy Palmer is jailed for armed robbery
Richard Smith
30/03/2010
mirror.co.uk

The brother of EastEnders star Patsy Palmer has been jailed for five years for robbing a jewellers. Albert Harris, 42, snatched £23,000 of gems after threatening two women assistants with a knife and yelling: "Times are hard - fill the bag."

His younger sister - Bianca Butcher in the soap - has spent years and thousands of pounds on rehab to help him kick a heroin habit. Mum-of-three Patsy, 37, moved him into her £2million family home in Brighton during one of his relapses. She visited him regularly when he was jailed more than 10 times for burglary and is expected to stay loyal to him again. Bungling Harris was filmed by the shop's CCTV during last September's raid in Clifton, Bristol, and was arrested days later.

He pleaded guilty at Bristol crown court to robbery and carrying an offensive weapon and will have his sentence cut by the 169 days he was in custody. Det Con Stuart Seddon said yesterday: "This was a very serious crime in which people were threatened in their workplace."

Harris, who lived in a hostel at Bedminster, has admitted he owes his life to Patsy - real name Julie Harris. They shared a tough upbringing in Bethnal Green, part of London's real East End. And Harris has said: "Without her help I could be dead now. "She paid for rehab twice when I was at my worst and never gave up on me. Even when I relapsed many times she was always there for me. I hate feeling I've let her down. Whenever she gave me a disapproving look, I'd know it was time to sort myself out and get clean. Sometimes she yelled at me like she does at her husband Ricky on EastEnders - but only because she wanted to help me. She has never judged me or got really angry with me. She's just like my mum."

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[Skylace]

An amazing sister indeed. She must be even tougher than the character she plays!

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'I could get dressed up and look great but inside I'd feel like I was dying'
EXCLUSIVE: ENDERS LEGEND PATSY ON HER 20-YEAR BATTLE WITH DRINK & DRUGS AND HOW SHE WAS SAVED BY MOTHERHOOD AND FINDING LOVE
Dennis Ellam
9/05/2010
mirror.co.uk

Fresh-FACED and glamorous, Patsy Palmer looked every inch the star at last night's British Soap Awards. Seeing her now it's almost impossible to believe she battled for 20 years with drink and drugs - and still relieson addict support programmes to stay clean and sober.

"You can get dressed up and look great but inside you might be dying," says Patsy, 37, with disarming honesty about her former problems. "I felt like that. In this business you can get away with murder. You try to make yourself look nice from the outside, but if you're not feeling good inside, what's the point?"

Flame-haired Patsy - tipped for a prestigious soap award last night - shot to stardom as mouthy market trader Bianca Jackson at just 21. But off screen there were all-night parties and binges on drink, cocaine and ecstasy which would nearly claim her life.

Patsy - who first went on stage at the age of six - has admitted drinking alcohol at eight, sniffing solvents at 11, and snorting cocaine at 13. At 20 she was a single mum living with baby son Charley in a tiny damp flat in London's East End. Her life revolved around clubbing with her mates and she was still partying and doing drugs when she joined the cast of EastEnders.

"Quite often, I'd party all night and go into work the next morning, just grabbing sleep on the set whenever I could," she has confessed. "I don't know how I survived." But Patsy says now: "My emotions were completely unmanageable at that time and I don't think I realised how unmanageable they were until I stopped. When I look back and see how much I've changed I think I was a different person."

Her first marriage to filmmaker Nick Love in the summer of 1998 lasted just five months. She was on the verge of a nervous breakdown when she was helped into rehab by a producer at EastEnders and finally broke free from her addictions and became teetotal in September 2004.

Her second marriage, to London taxi driver Richard Merkell in 2000, provided the stability she needed that set her on the road to sobriety. Richard, 44, had been a family friend for 15 years. They are so happy that Patsy says she wishes they'd got together when she was 13 to save her years of heartache. Her children, too, have helped her keep on an even keel. But to this day she won't allow any alcohol under her roof. "We don't have drink in our house," she says.

"Richard is a social drinker but he doesn't drink at home. I follow the 12-step programme from Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous."

Patsy, whose real name is Julie Ann Harris, adds: "Ask yourself, 'Is drinking and taking drugs stopping you from being the best person you want to be?'. And if the answer's yes, it's time to knock it on the head. Richard and I didn't want that for our life. I didn't want to be falling out of clubs. I wanted a settled home life and now I have." Eldest son Charley is now 18 and, after modelling for elite agency Storm, is studying at the BRIT School for Performing Arts.

Surprisingly, despite her own soap success, Patsy is not keen n her son going into acting, too. "I don't want him to be an actor. It's too insecure. So I'm pleased he's got lots of other talents." Even so, she adds: "He's a brilliant actor, though - a lot better than I was at his age. He's also 6ft and absolutely gorgeous. I know I'm biased but he was with a top modelling agency, so it's not just me who thinks so. He has a lovely heart too. He's also a really good writer."

Patsy has two children with Richard - Fenton, nine, and Emilia, eight - and would consider having another one. "Who knows, there's still time," she says. "I think Richard would like another child. We're really family-orientated. "I would never rule out adopting either, because there are so many kids who need homes. I think Angelina Jolie and Madonna are fantastic for adopting kids."

After walking out on EastEnders in 1999 Patsy said she'd never go back to the show because the storylines were too far-fetched. But BBC bosses finally persuaded her to change her mind. And when she returned two years ago, with onscreen husband Ricky Butcher, played by Sid Owen, ratings jumped from 9.5 million to 12 million. The pair have just been nominated for Best On Screen Partnership in the British Soap Awards.

She says the timing couldn't have been better to return to the soap. "I honestly thought I'd never go back," she says. "My kids were babies when I said I wouldn't return and then I couldn't imagine going back full-time, but now they're school age."

She remembers her first day back on set: "I was sitting there and I got this wave of panic, I thought 'the kids!'. Then I remembered they were at school, so even if I was home they wouldn't be there. Their dad looks after them while I'm at work." Patsy, who lives with her family near the sea in Brighton, couldn't be more different from dour Bianca. But she is genuinely fond of her character. "

I love the Jackson family," she says. "They're always laughing and smiling and I really wanted that. Bianca's kind of downtrodden but because she hasn't got anything doesn't mean that she has to be miserable."

EastEnders stars often talk of the cast as being like one big family. And while there must be occasional ructions and fall-outs, Patsy says the same. "We sit around and chat about anything from psychology to babies, to Hello! magazine, to what's happening with Cheryl Cole," she says. "Or we go to our dressing rooms and have a little sleep or go to the green room and have a game of pool. It's like a big school, really. There's a lovely energy."

Patsy is certainly not lacking in energy - off screen she tirelessly raises money for children's cancer charity CLIC Sargent. She says: "To lose one of your kids - it breaks my heart to think about it. My energy goes to trying to help as much as possible. My life's a joy now. As long as I can continue avoiding all the things that destroy my soul, I can be happy."

For more information on Patsy's charity, go to www.yummymummy.org.uk. This interview appears in the new issue of Woman's Own magazine, on sale on Tuesday.

[SpursFan1902]

Good for her. I wish more celebs that have cleaned themselves up would talk about the reality of it. When you read these interviews, sometimes it sounds like "Yeah I got up one morning and decided I had had enough and poof, I was clean" I don't mean to discourage by saying how hard it is, but a little more realistic description might be good.

[SpursFan1902]

Is she preggers?

[Skylace]

Oh yeah, they're covering it up on the show, or at least trying to. Sometimes a bit more successful than others!

[SpursFan1902]

I thought she was looking heavy, but I wasn't sure until one of the episodes last week...

[eefanincan]

I think she's nearly 7 months gone now.....

[SpursFan1902]

Wow, I am really slow!! Actually I noticed, but it didn't click that she was pregnant. Silly me...

[Skylace]

Shame they didn't write it in. Might have been fun to see Ricky panic about another baby!

[Twirley]

A-ha! I knew it. I could tell she looked heavier but it wasn't going on her face. Then the blousy tops. Mmmm...it would have been good to see Ricky's face if another Butcher was on the way! Hahaha.

[SpursFan1902]

Yeah, Sam and Bianca could have both had Rickay babies (changing the storyline a bit) and that would just be another point of contention for Rickays time...Can you just hear Sam on the phone getting Rickay to come change nappies???

[Skylace]

The only problem with that Spurs is Sam would have stayed on the show!