Daft bugger of the decade...

[faceless]

Man 'sailing around Britain' in small boat was doing lap of small island off Kent
27th April 2010

A man who thought he was sailing round the UK turned out to be circling a small island off the coast of Kent and didn't realise until he ran out of fuel. A lifeboat was called to rescue him after his engine wound down off the Elmley Marshes on the Isle of Sheppey, which he had been sailing round all day and night.

In addition to his tour of the 8-mile-wide island, the man, who had set out from Gillingham, had also made a series of other unfortunate decisions: The man had bought the motor cruiser online, and it only had a 20-litre fuel tank and a 20 horse power engine - not designed for sea use. He thought that because he could drive in his car to Southampton using a single tank of fuel, he only needed one tank of fuel for the vessel and he had a VHF radio, but did not know how to use it.

Lifeboat volunteer Tom Ware said: 'Because he had no chart and he didn't even know what navigational charts were, his general principle was to keep the land on his right, except he didn't realise Sheppey was an Island. It took him a day and a half to get from Gillingham to where he ran out of fuel.'

Coastguards, who met the man at Queenborough, advised him that engine sizes and therefore fuel consumption differs and the coast route was longer than the road distance in any case. Coastguard Ian Goodwin said: 'We passed on relevant safety advice and advised him that the best way to Southampton would be by train. However, he said he would get some fuel and get under way but asked us if he went left or right when he came out of the Swale.'

It is not known whether the man made it to Southampton.

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[pirtybirdy]

Did they give him a breathalyzer test at all? Maybe a drug test? He can't be that stupid, can he?

[Mixxa]

They don't mention his name in the article. Could it have been Father Dougal Maguire?

[faceless]

Amateur thrillseeker breaks his back after buying paraglider on eBay and taking it for a spin... with NO training
25th May 2010

A novice pilot - who had no training - broke his back in a terrifying crash after tethering his paraglider to a car and taking to the skies. Roy Dixon had no experience of the dangerous pastime when he bought the paraglider for £300 from the auction website eBay.

The 45-year-old thrill-seeker admits he was only 'half way' through a book about paragliding when he decided to make his first attempt on Sunday evening. Roy then made another disastrous decision - to use 50 feet of rope to tether the paraglider to his car in the hope it would act as an 'anchor'. Instead, it meant he was slammed into the side of a hill by a stray gust of wind, having lost control of the glider in seconds.

Roy was in the air for less than a minute before he plummeted 50ft to Earth, breaking his back in two places as his horrified family looked on. Roy, of Juniper, near Hexham, said: 'I was in pain like you've never known. I was in a sitting position when I landed, so it just went straight up through my spine like a red hot poker. I tried to get in a position where I could land feet-first but I couldn't. I remember being up there and suddenly going "whoosh" over to one direction, and then "wham" straight down to the ground. It happened so quickly. I didn't expect to come down as hard as I did. I couldn't walk. I was in the foetal position and thrashing around in pain.'

Watching in horror, Roy's wife Catherine and 11-year-old nephew Michael dialled 999 before a helicopter from RAF Boulmer arrived to airlift him to Newcastle General Hospital from the site, just south of Hexham in Northumberland. The former golf course builder, who is now a full time charity worker delivering aid to disaster zones, is still undergoing tests and awaiting surgery for two broken vertebrae.

He continued: 'I feel lucky but I also feel foolish. I was looking for a thrill - call it a mid-life crisis if you want. In the end I dodged death and paralysis. I feel like I've got off lightly, by the grace of God. One thing I will say is the healthcare I've received is second to none.'

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You'd only ever have had to play with a simple wee kite to klnow that you need to know what you're doing! Still, it must have been agony for sure... ooyah

[Ash]

Re. paraglider: Initially I laughed, which I shouldn't have. But now after reading the entire story I feel sad for the guy. The pain bit was especially uncomfortable since I suffered for about 3 years of non-stop pain on my feet.