The Comedy Store's worst ever acts

[faceless]

The Comedy Store's worst acts
The Comedy Store is famous for discovering great comedians. But over 30 years it has seen its share of awful acts too
by: Terry Ramsey
19 May 2009

Don Ward (who launched The Comedy Store in 1979) remembers two particularly bad acts from The Comedy Store's history:

David Day. He wore evening dress with tails and went on stage with a violin case and a music stand. He put up the music stand and went over to the violin case but because the stage was uneven the music stand toppled over. He went back and stood it up. But before he could open the case it fell over again. And this kept happening.

In the end he was stretching over to the violin case while putting his foot on the music stand to keep it up. The audience was in fits. Eventually, he got the violin and the sheet music out, but his five minutes were up and he was gonged off. Everyone loved it. But it wasn't his act.

Afterwards he said 'I didn't get to do my act. Next week I'm going to come back and do my act'. The following week everyone was ready for the hilarious falling-over act but he kept the music stand up and got the violin out. “He couldn't play for toffee and he started singing in the worst voice you've ever heard. It was shit,” recalls Don. "The audience started shouting, 'We want your other act' and he replied, 'What other act?' Don says: “At the end he simply walked off into the night and we never ever saw him again."

Kevin Douglas. He told the Comedy Store he was a very experienced comedian from Los Angeles. Don Ward rang him and Kevin said, ‘I can tell you in confidence that I am the son of Kirk Douglas [which he was]. I've been making my way as a comedian but I don't want people to know who my father is. I want to make it on my own.’ He comes to London and before going on said to Don: ‘You will be sure that nobody mentions I am Kirk Douglas's son?’. He was assured nobody knew.

He got a big ‘all the way from Los Angeles’ intro and got up on stage and started his act. No response. He keeps going. No response. “He's now in a hole and going deeper and deeper,” recalls Don. “He's now getting the 'f*** off' treatment. People are shouting 'Go back to America' and getting up and going to the bar.” So an angry Kevin Douglas takes the only route open to him. He says: "Be quiet and give me some respect. Give me some respect because I am Kirk Douglas's son.”

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[eirebadboy]

Reminds me of the time I went to see Norman Lovett in Dublin. He sat an apple on a ladder, mumbled something about time eating the apple and proceeded with the shittest stand up routine I ever saw. He ended up sitting at the front of the stage chatting to a couple of people about Red Dwarf.