Ron White

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Ron White mines laughs from his arrest
BILL DEYOUNG,
September 11, 2008

Less than 60 seconds after he started talking from the Sunrise Theatre stage Thursday night, Ron White brought up what was on everybody’s mind. “I read the newspaper today,” the comedian said, and stood there grinning and puffing on a cigar, while 1,200 people cheered for a full minute.

White’s arrest at the Vero Beach Municipal Airport the previous day, on a possession of marijuana charge, provided the grist for the first 10 minutes of his act. “I looked outside the airplane and saw three cops standing there,” he told the sold-out crowd. “Which is never a good sign.” A tip had been called in that there were drugs on White’s plane. “The weed was in my pocket, so when he asked me ‘Are there drugs on the plane?’ I said ‘Absolutely not.’”

The department’s drug-sniffing dog was brought aboard the private aircraft, at which point White produced what he said was seven-eighths of one gram of marijuana. The plane was thoroughly searched, producing nothing, but then, White said, the officer told him he had called it in, and had been instructed to place the comedian under arrest. “For this?” he asked, incredulous. “So they handcuffed me there on the tarmac and brought me down there to jail,” White said.

The audience booed and hissed. “It’s not like I’ve never done it before,” he said, and they cheered. “I’ve been in jail before; I’m not bitching about that. What I’m worried about, I got a show about to start and I still have to get processed.”

White had $23,000 in cash in his possession, and he sweated bullets while it was counted. Slowly. “They did not pick the smartest employee to count it,” he said. No one in the jail seemed to know how to efficiently use a computer, either, White explained. The process reminded him, he told the audience, of slow-witted TV deputy Barney Fife.

The rest of White’s 75-minute act consisted of his trademark, slow-burning takes on such topics as monogamous sex (“She knows what I like, and I know what she won’t do”) and his idea for new “Heightened States of Awareness” levels for the Department of Homeland Security (“One, go find a helmet; two, put on your helmet”). He is famously intolerant of stupidity; no comic working today does a better impatient, insincere smile than Ron White.

The Vero Beach incident re-appeared several times during the show. As he talked about his days as part of the “Blue Collar Comedy Tour,” White mentioned his co-performers: “Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Idiot.” That last name drew a lot of laughs, which prompted White to add, with a smirk: “Although I’m pretty sure he wasn’t in jail last night.”

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Standup comedian Ron White performs
Doug Pullen / El Paso Times
11th Oct 2008

Remember that big hulking guy from school who didn't care what he said or who he said it to, who drank like a fish but was smart as a whip? That's who Ron White reminds me of.

The black sheep of the Blue Collar Comedy chorale made his entrance at the Chavez Theatre Friday night like a rock star, entering to the strains of the pride of Texas, Stevie Ray Vaughan. All the lights were extinguished - the better to see the glow of his trademark cigar - save a single spotlight focused on the other part of his visual signature, a bottle of his favorite Johnnie Walker scotch perched atop a simple stool. And he used it, pouring himself a second glass of scotch on the rocks (taken from an ice box on a second stool) near the middle of his solid but uneven 90-minute show, which filled nearly all 2,100 available seats in the theater.

Obviously, Ron White likes to make himself comfortable onstage. It makes sense. He's been doing standup for 22 years and you don't last that long without knowing your way around a stage, an audience and a tumbler.

But the Ron White who performed here Friday isn't exactly the same one who performed here two years ago, or the one who played the Pan Am Center with Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy (or Larry the Cable Idiot, as White cracked) before that. He's not the same blustery funny guy with the hilarious stories about bad judgments and misdeeds or other people's stupefying stupidities.

He still does that kind of material, only now he's not some struggling comic assailing us with funny stories about getting kicked out of a bar in New York or pulled over in Podunk for some minor indiscretion on his record. These days he's a well-to-do comedian who whitens his teeth, wears yellow-tinted designer glasses, a smart black suit (with white shirt open at the neck), jets around the country in a plane "that you guys bought me," lives with his wife in a big house "that you guys bought us" and complains about the lack of hot water at the Ritz-Carlton and the smarmy teenager in the valet parking lot.

That doesn't mean the man they call Tater Salad isn't funny. But his white-collar comedy isn't as funny as the blue because most of us can't relate to it as well, and, frankly, White doesn't seem to invest himself as much in, doesn't seem to believe in it as much as he did the stuff that made him famous after he jumped on the Blue Collar Comedy express.

He's a lot more effective when he taps into the kind of crude humor that separated him from his squeakier, cleaner Blue Collar comrades. Those middle-class roots were showing in a bit about his first encounter with heated toilet seats and a bidet in his ritzy New York hotel room. "It's amazing how accurate it is," he said, marveling at its front and back streams. "It says, 'oscillate,' and I say, 'Why not'?!?"

It's tough to be a comic who writes about his world, even when that world is separating him from the people who gave it to him in the first place. How do you make that stuff relatable to them? Maybe his signature use of mock indignation, dripping, drawling sarcasm and clever set ups just needs a little facelift.

It didn't help that the performance had as many valleys as peaks. Finding humor in a poignant visit to a maimed soldier at Walter Reed Army Medical Center allowed him to rant about the need to take care of these men and women while working in a funny bit about a friendly epithet tossed at him by a guy with no larynx for using a "man bag." But a bit about color-coded security alerts and his 73-year-old mother's inability to understand them was dated, funny only when he imitated his mother stiffly donning a protective helmet.

White was at his funniest Friday when he joked about those porcelain waterworks - and when he recounted his arrest for what he said was 7/8 of a gram of marijuana Sept. 10 in Vero Beach, Fla. The 50-year-old Atlantan by way of Houston walked the audience through the adventure, from seeing what he thought was going to be a police escort when he landed to his 90-minute stay in the pokey. "They had to drive by three meth labs and a hooker just to get to my 7/8 of a gram of marijuana," he said, raising his voice in exaggerated indignation.

White never got into the particulars of the incident or the press release he issued six days later that claimed it was "medicinal marijuana," but he could evolve the retelling of the event into a funny bit of stoned in public if his lawyers let him.

Opener Alejandro Reymundo focused most of his 30-minute set on his "Hick-Spanic" life, inspired by his marriage to a "hillbilly" from Kentucky and their two kids, one of whom likes to shout "Orale! Ya'll!" His humor relies a little too much on stereotypes, not enough on insights. White has the insights, he just needs to tell them with the kind of focus and invention that made him a rich man.

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Quite an interesting review - I'll need to keep an eye on this Doug Pullen guy...

[ItzMeRon]

I love this man.

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Ron White escapes jail time
Reported by: tcpalm.com

VERO BEACH, FL -- California comedian Ron White is guilty of minor drug charges in connection with his arrival here September last year, under a county judge’s ruling. But he won’t serve any time in jail, under a decision Indian River County Court Judge Joe Wild filed Tuesday.

In November, White’s attorney, Jeff Battista, and prosecutors reach a plea deal, which Wild accepted: six months probation along with fines and fees and suspension of his driving privileges for two years.

White was arrested by Vero Beach police just after he flew into Vero Beach on Sept. 10 in a private airplane. He was charged with possession of less than 20 grams of marijuana, valued at $10, and drug paraphernalia, police reports show. Based on the circumstances of the case, the plea agreement is reasonable, Wild wrote in his ruling.

White didn’t have to appear in court. While on probation, White has to pay $1,460 in fines and fees. Also, he is to either serve 200 hours community service or pay $10 for every hour — a $2,000 fee that Battista said his client would opt for.

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For $10 worth of weed...

[pirtybirdy]

I can't believe this guy got this kind of punishment for 10 dollars worth of marijuana, which in my opinion should be legal anyway. He loses his driving priviledges as well when a car had nothing to do with it?????? They really stick it up your ass here in Florida. I've known other people that have gotten kicked in the arse for small matters. All I can say is, when you are here in sunny Florida, don't you dare sneeze sideways! LOL! Hope it's okay to comment in here. This article compelled me to rant! lol!

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Ron White favors 'Drunk' over 'Problems'
April 21, 2009
tennessean.com
Cindy Watts:

Comedian Ron White knows his new CD, Behavioral Problems, is funny — but it doesn't have him laughing as hard as his first CD, Drunk in Public. "My manager tells me I'm way too honest," says Ron, who made a name for himself with jokes about tater salad and punch lines including "you can't fix stupid." "I could just say, 'Oh yeah, it's the best thing I've ever done.' My first album was so fun. It's so difficult to replace it, but you have to go on. (Behavioral Problems) is better than the second CD."

Behavioral Problems, in stores today, is the comedian's third comedy CD and is part of a three-pronged release that includes a Comedy Central special and a DVD, also in stores today. "My theme is don't put out a record until it's right," Ron says. "I'm not like Larry the Cable Guy and Dane Cook that put out a record every six months. … I'm only probably going to put out this one more record, and that's plenty."

On the CD, Ron has audiences laughing about topics ranging from terrorism, sex and pedicures to his legal problems, body piercing and a stinky paper company in his hometown. "Comedy certainly lies everywhere, but maybe not from the same angle you might think," Ron says. "Cancer is not particularly funny, but that doesn't mean that a story about someone who has cancer can't be funny or that the comedy stops when the cancer started. … Everyone is not going to agree on every joke — that's never been important to me either."

What is important, Ron says, is timing — a gift he's had his entire life. But with a book that appeared on the New York Times Best Seller list, and more than 10 million CDs and DVDs sold, it takes more than his self-described "gift" to keep fans entertained. "I think (they laugh because) I know life is great, and they know I know," he says.

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I've no idea how this works, but it seems someone has proposed there be a 'Ron White Day' in the state of Texas! haha

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Ron White Could Face North Dakota Smoking Charge
May 4 2009 7:08PM
KXMBTV

Comedian Ron White sold out two shows in Bismarck last week. However, its not his jokes making news...but his onstage activity. A Bismarck Police report states White could face charges of smoking in public places prohibited.

White's comedy routine includes him holding a glass in one hand and a lit cigar in the other. A Bismarck resident sent a letter to the police department informing them of the routine. An offier dressed in street clothes documented the incident during White's routine on April 30th.

The police report indicates White came on stage puffing the cigar. Part way through the routine he relit the cigar and took a puff and did the same at the end of the show. The charges have been sent to the City Attorney for review.

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[pirtybirdy]

We watched Ron White while visiting my sister, and I laughed my ass off! Ron White cracks me up. If I ever have an opportunity to see his act, I'll count myself lucky.

[pirtybirdy]

It's funny that I wrote about being lucky to see him. Tickets just went on sale here yesterday to see him in St. Petersburg. Now I just have to find someone who'll go with me. Worse comes to worse, I'll go by myself... :-)

[faceless]

I'm sure you'll find someone to go along no bother at all! "do you want to come and see an excellent comedian?' 'Nah, I'm not one for laughing' haha

[pirtybirdy]

no....lol! It's more like....mom, wanna go see a funny comedian, the one we saw at Kate's? No, I couldn't stay up that late, I'd be falling asleep, blah, blah, blah. My little sister too.....no, I have the baby, i have to work, I have to ....fill in the blank. I'm too new down here, so I don't know anybody. Guess it'll be just me. Anyway, I'm a good laugh.....lol I like my company...lol!

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Ron White ages like good scotch
Gwenn Friss
capecodonline.com
August 13, 2011

Like the 18-year-old McClelland’s single malt he favors, comedian Ron White, now 54, grows smoother and tastier with age. Since I last saw him live, at the Melody Tent in 2007, he hasn’t so much mellowed as deepened, developing more complex flavors along the way. You can picture him at family gatherings as the slightly sodden uncle sitting on the deck with a scotch and a cigar – occasionally deadpanning the one-liner that you’ll still be thinking about hours after the cookout is over.

“So a marine trainer at Sea World in Orlando was killed by a killer whale … huh,” laughter burbles while White pauses as if contemplating. “Turns out there’s a reason they didn’t call them ocean ponies.”

It’s another example of White’s “You Can’t Fix Stupid” humor, which is both a philosophy that informs his work and the name of his second one-hour special filmed in 2006. Twice nominated for a Grammy, White toiled for more than a decade before touring from 2000 to 2003 with fellow Blue Collar comedians Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and Larry the Cable Guy. The troupe’s shtick was so well received the show was turned into a movie in 2003 – the same year White’s first solo album, “Drunk in Public,” was released.

OK, fast forward from that now-ancient history to Saturday night when White was working it and making it look easy. He did a solid 75 minutes without flagging. I’m talking standup, but anyone who is familiar with White’s on-stage sexual antics can read that anyway they want.

The fact that White is earnest and smart should not lull you into bringing to his show your mother, your child, your pastor, your spouse or anyone else you may have to see the morning after. This guy is raunchy but hilarious. You’ll laugh your butt off and then, like a cat that’s fallen off the TV, have to walk away and pretend it never happened.

White’s wife, singer/songwriter Margo Rey, deserves a medal for … well, let’s just say she deserves a medal. He, as usual, raves and rants about their sex life, but he also gets to some nuggets of truth.

Musing that he is a monogamist because you don’t have to worry about getting caught, White said, “Did you know that monogamy is a choice, not a feeling?” Although golfer Tiger Woods’ serial philandering is getting old, White got some laughs when he applied math to the situation. When Rey complained about Woods’ behavior, White pointed out that her friend’s husband cheated. “But that was only once,” Rey replied.

White says, “Once, because that was the only opportunity he had. He used 100 percent of his opportunities. Tiger was like 18 for 82,000, which really isn’t so bad.” Monogamy is easier for him, White said, because there aren’t so many women looking to lead astray a chunky 54-year-old. He’s trying to get fit, the comic said, but he sprained his fat roll at the gym.

White delivered a lot of his standards but some new material he was working in, judging by the notes on the floor by his feet. Unlike his nickname, “Tater Salad,” White is someone who just gets better when left out, uncovered, on the table.

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