Justin Lee Collins

[faceless]

Justin Lee Collins's heaven and hell
The television presenter Justin Lee Collins on mosquito infestations, airport entertainment and spending his honeymoon on the slot machines.
Interview by Nick McGrath
23 Dec 2008

Which was your best holiday?
It’s a toss-up between my honeymoon and a childhood holiday to Disney World. My honeymoon, in 2003, was fantastic because I booked it as a surprise for my wife, Karen. We visited San Francisco, Maui and Oahu in Hawaii and came back through Las Vegas. My wife enjoyed it as much as I did, despite the fact that I blew several hundred dollars on the Vegas fruit-machines. The trip to Florida with my father, in 1984, when I was nine, was perhaps even more special because it was the first time I’d been abroad. I can remember Disney World vividly and I’ll never forget how excited I was to go on the Big Thunder Mountain ride – although I did cry at the end of it, which wasn’t very brave.

And the best hotel you’ve stayed in?
I stayed in this great hotel on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles, in 1997, called the Argyll. I think it has been renamed now but I loved it because it was the first time I’d stayed in a suite. I just couldn’t get over the fact that it had more than one room. The Marriott Outrigger Resort on Maui on my honeymoon was also incredible. We had an absolutely gorgeous ocean-front apartment.

What do you need for a perfect holiday?
Decent weather and my nearest and dearest. When I was younger it was all about sunshine and beach lazing, but I would rather laze around at home now. On holiday, I prefer something a bit more active – I’m not talking about climbing mountains or anything extreme – but I like exploring new cities and trying something that I wouldn’t normally do at home.

What do you always take with you?
I’m a scientific packer and I’ll always take two T-shirts for every day I’ll be away as I can’t be bothered with laundry. I take plenty of books, but I’m not a gadget guy, so there’s no laptop or iPod, although I do take an old Sony CD Walkman. I have two young boys now; every time I travel my little boy, Archie, puts something in my case to remind me of him – a plastic ice cream or pizza from his home kitchen or a Thomas the Tank Engine carriage.

What’s your best piece of travel advice?
Your holiday starts the moment you put your bags into the car or cab on the way to the airport or station, so relax. And if you are flying, don’t get to the airport four hours before your flight leaves. You’ve normally checked in and gone through security in 45 minutes, and who wants to spend two-and-a-half hours sitting in an airport?

Where do you want to go next?
My wife and I are planning a two- or three-day break to New York at Christmas, and family-wise we’ll head back down to Cornwall. We love it down there, especially Watergate Bay, which is beautiful.

Which was your worst holiday?
Without doubt a trip in 2000 to Corfu with my wife, before we married, and our best friends. When we walked into our apartments, they were filthy and the walls and ceilings were covered in footprints. At first we thought Lionel Richie had been in reshooting his Dancing On The Ceiling video, but then we realised that the previous tenants had been killing mosquitoes with their shoes. The heat was intense, and the locals told us it was the area’s worst-ever mosquito infestation. We didn’t have a decent night’s sleep for two weeks and we were all attacked by mosquitoes. It was miserable.

And the biggest packing mistake you’ve made?
I’ve never made a gargantuan error like forgetting my whole case, but I’ve forgotten my trunks a few times and on that Corfu holiday I rued the fact that we’d forgotten to pack any insect repellent.

Which is the worst hotel you’ve stayed in?
I was in Cologne doing a show called Bring Back The One Hit Wonders and had to track down Joe Dolce, who had a big hit in 1981 with “Shaddap You Face”. I stayed in a hotel that hadn’t been occupied since the 1970s. It had repulsive avocado-coloured bathroom suites and no heating, so I had to cover myself in the sheets from the twin single beds to stop myself freezing to death. When I met Joe Dolce the next day, he was staying in a beautiful boutique hotel called the Savoy and I thought, “He may have only had one hit 27 years ago, but he must have done OK from it as he’s staying in a palace and I’m stuck in a hole.”

What do you avoid on holidays?
Tap water and dogs. I always make sure I stay on the bottled water and I avoid ice, too. And you don’t want to get bitten by a dog on holiday. Unless you’ve had the rabies shot.

What do you hate about holidays?
I’m getting increasingly fed up with airports, especially in America with the stricter security. I don’t enjoy going through the whole process in a state of undress and then being fondled by a random official. It’s a total pain and I think some entertainment should be provided to relieve the queuing boredom. Clowns or celebrity impersonators would work well.

[Colston]

He stole my identity...

[faceless]

he stole my favourite lump of cheese...

[Colston]

[faceless]

Justin Lee Collins to face trial over accusations of six-month harassment campaign against his ex-girlfriend
Collins denies allegations and pleads not guilty
Rebecca Seales
22nd December 2011

TV funnyman Justin Lee Collins has been accused of harassing his ex-girlfriend over a six-month period. Collins denies the alleged harassment and entered a plea of not guilty when he appeared at St Albans Magistrates' Court today. He will now face a jury trial over the allegations after asking to be tried at a Crown Court.

The shaggy-haired comedian, 37, is accused of causing Anna Larke 'fear of violence' when the pair dated between January and July this year. If convicted the presenter, who is currently appearing in West End show Rock of Ages, could face up to six months behind bars.

When asked if he wanted his case to be heard by magistrates or at a Crown Court, he politely replied, 'Crown Court please.' This means that a judge and jury will decide the outcome of the case. He will now attend a further pre-trial hearing at the magistrates' court on 17 February 2012, when he will be given a date to appear at a Crown Court.
Happier times: The comedian and then-girlfriend Anna Larke laze on the beach during a romantic holiday to Miami in February this year

The Bristolian comic arrived at court wearing jeans and trainers with a checked shirt and tie. He was not required to stand in the dock, and instead stood next to his solicitor during the brief hearing in Hertfordshire. Reading out the charge against him, chair of the magistrates' bench, Doreen Clapper, said: 'It is alleged that between January 2011 and July 2011 you caused Anna Larke to fear that violence would be used against her by your course of action which you knew or ought to have known would cause fear of violence to her on each occasion that you made threats of violence towards her.' Collins was released on bail and ordered not to contact Ms Larke or her relatives.

When the charges were initially bought against him, a spokeswoman for the star said: 'He is shocked and upset by the allegations. He is unable to comment on the circumstances and the events to which the charge relates because of the proceedings, but he is confident that he will prove his innocence.' Collins refused to comment as he left court.