World's Worst Criminals

[faceless]

Greatest robbery disguise ever
August 15, 2007

We thought, when a man tried to rob a bank last month while dressed up as a tree, that we'd seen the greatest disguise in modern criminal history. But, showing that you should never underestimate the ingenuity of the criminal element, a magnificent challenger has already emerged. The man, now known as the 'Duct Tape Bandit', reasoned with fearsome logic that nobody can identify you if you wrap you head up in duct tape before robbing a store.

Unfortunately for the Bandit, his meticulously worked-out plan went a bit wrong when the store manager at Shamrock Liquors in Ashland, Kentucky spotted him stealing rolls of change, and chased him out of the store. Ironically, he chased him with a wooden club wrapped in duct tape. The Bandit was then wrestled to the ground in the car park by another store employee, who held him until the police arrived. When they got there, the cops had the fun job of peeling the duct tape off the man's face.

Revealed beneath the Duct Tape Bandit's duct tape was his true identity – not a masked supervillian, but an ordinary man with the deeply implausible name of Kasey G. Kazee. Kazee was charged with first-degree robbery. However, in a TV interview with local station WSAZ-TV, he denied being the Duct Tape Bandit. 'Do I look like the duct tape bandit to you?' he said. Whoever the Duct Tape Bandit really was, his disguise was not limited to the duct tape thing. One store employee told WSAZ-TV that he had pulled his t-shirt over his head - noting that it lent him an appearance reminiscent of nothing so much as The Great Cornholio, alter ego of Beavis from Beavis And Butthead.

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the daft bastard!

[eefanincan]

WTF???? Weird!

[Skylace]

You could have him on video eating a sandwich and he would say "That's not me eating that sandwich". I hate people like that.

[Marcella-FL]

It's just too bizarre for me to comment accurately on ... I am type-less ...

[faceless]

Jailed For Robbing Bookies With Vibrator
Monday August 20, 2007

A robber who held up a bookmakers with his girlfriend's Rampant Rabbit vibrator has been jailed. Nicki Jex, 27, concealed the sex toy in a carrier bag and pretended it was a gun during the raid on the Ladbrokes shop, in Leicester, on December 27 last year. A member of staff at the Narborough Road branch handed over more than £600 in cash when he pointed it at her, Leicester Crown Court was told.

Jex, of Braunstone, pleaded guilty to the robbery, which was captured on a CCTV camera inside the shop. Sentencing him to five years behind bars, Judge Philip Head said: "It's right to record that you did not have a firearm. But you pretended you had and intended that those you confronted believed that you did, and it must have been truly terrifying for them at the time."

Tim Palmer, prosecuting, told the court: "The defendant pointed the item in the carrier bag at the cashier. She immediately assumed it to be a firearm. In fact, what was contained within the carrier bag was the defendant's girlfriend's vibrator."

The cashier handed over £613 in till contents and other money, the court was told. But as he made his escape, the shop's only remaining customer, Wayne Vakani, followed him outside and tracked him to a nearby pub. Thanks to the customer, the defendant's hat, worn in the robbery and containing his DNA, was discovered nearby. When he was arrested he denied any involvement in the robbery, but changed his plea later.

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Have you heard the buzz on this?

[alan1254]

Doh!

[faceless]

Cement mixer not ideal getaway vehicle
Friday, October 19, 2007

A thief caught shoplifting a packet of cheese from a supermarket in Germany tried to make his getaway in a cement mixer, but he was quickly nabbed by police. 'He was out on the job and suddenly got hungry, as honest workers sometimes do,' said police spokesman in the eastern city of Chemnitz Thursday.

When a shop detective in the town of Limbach-Oberfrohna caught the man stealing a £1.94 (€2.79) packet of processed cheese, the 55-year-old broke free and leaped into his cement mixing truck outside, police said. The shop alerted police, who arrested the man when he stopped his getaway vehicle at a red light a few hundred yards away.

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Stopped at a red light? He's got to be a contender for the world's worst criminal!

[faceless]

'Just put the motherfucking handcuffs on me and take me to motherfucking jail!'

haha

[nekokate]

Hahahahahahahaha!!!!!! Brilliant!!!!

"Do you understand what I just read to you?"

"Heeeell no!!"

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incinerate me... (South Park)

[faceless]

Muggers pose for CCTV camera
22nd November 2007

Are these the most stupid muggers in Britain? Minutes after attacking a teenager on a commuter train, these young lads shamelessly posed for CCTV footage. Then, astonishingly, they tried to cover up their faces with their scarves and jumpers once they realised what they'd done.

The three youths had just mugged a 15-year-old for his mobile phone and iPod after jumping on him on the train to Guildford, Surrey. They punched him repeatedly in the face before pinning him down and stealing his possessions. The victim fled the train at Effingham Junction after the attack, which took place between Leatherhead and Effingham Junction around 4pm on 13 September. But the suspects remained on board and strutted in front of the train's security cameras, brazenly pulling faces and making themselves easily identifiable.

Police are hoping the public can help identify the attackers. Detective Constable Bronger of British Transport Police said the images were "amazingly clear". Anyone with information should contact the Witness Appeal Line on 020 7391 5275 quoting background reference B3 of 21/11/07.

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the wee shites.

[luke]

lets hope they get caught

years ago on a train at guildford a mate of mine who'd gone to use the toilet had a knife pulled on him, luckily we were at the station - the doors opened and he stepped back out of the train and off the train went. this was before everyone had mobile phones - i was most confused, going up and the down looking for my mate wondering where he'd gone! he didn't have a clue where he was going! we missed most the party we was going to, i think we got there at about 3 in the morning by the time we'd managed to get in contact by other mates back at home

[maycm]

Back to the drunk guy....

If you don't have to close your eyes why do I have to close my motherfuckin' eyes?

A fair question I thought!!



Are you refusing the test? Yes I'm refusing the motherfucking test!

Excellent!

[nekokate]

[faceless]

Man admits being the Duct Tape Bandit
April 30, 2008

A man who wrapped his head in duct tape to conceal his identity has pleaded guilty to robbing an eastern Kentucky liquor store. Under terms of a plea agreement, 25-year-old Kasey G. Kazee faces 10 years in prison, the maximum sentence. He pleaded guilty on Tuesday to second-degree robbery.

Police said Kazee entered an Ashland liquor store on Aug. 10 with his entire head, except for openings at his eyes and mouth, wrapped in duct tape. Kazee told a clerk he had a knife and threatened to harm her if she didn't give him the money from the cash register, police said. The clerk complied and the man left.

Before the 'Duct Tape Bandit' could make his getaway, another store employee tackled him in the parking lot, police said. The employee and several other men who came running from a neighboring store detained the suspect until officers arrived. Police didn't say how much money was taken, but the store manager said the register came up $15 short. Police said no weapon was found on Kazee when he was arrested.

Sentencing was set for May 23.

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The guy will never live this down... haha

[pirtybirdy]

Wow.....He exchanged 10 years of his life behind bars for 15 stinkin' bucks that he didn't even get? Now that is dumb...lol!