Celeb Tidbits

[IRiSHMaFIA]

madonna’s margaret drabble

Hold, what’s all this? Turns out that our favourite cockney hard man, Guy Ritchie, is getting more grief from his Yankee trouble-and-strife. Seems Ritchie is refusing to play Scrabble with the missus because she is “too competitive.” “Madonna doesn’t like losing at anything,” a source says. “The atmosphere was so intense and she was such a sore loser that he told her he wouldn’t play her again. Even Tiddlywinks could start World War III.” We know how she feels. We remember the days when the young Guy would work the pubs of the East End as a Scrabble shark, hustling punters for a game of “Margaret.” (Margaret Drabble -- Scrabble.) What a pencil squeezer!

elton john's dead good pals

Elton John has buried more showbiz friends than most of us can ever hope to meet alive. In an interview, Elton tells of the “trauma of losing many close pals including Princess Diana, Freddie Mercury and John Lennon.” As Elton says: “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think of the people like Gianni [Versace] and Diana and John Lennon and other friends who have gone needlessly.” We too have lost friends. But on the point of listing them, Elton issues a kind of challenge: “Two of my best friends have been murdered on their doorsteps in America -- I don’t think many people can say that.” He’s right. Not many people can. At least not many people who aren’t gangsta rappers or living in Iraq.

a top dad

“I spoke to Tom Cruise when I was axed... he helped me,” says David Beckham. The former England captain has yet to appear on daytime TV, jumping on Oprah’s couch and screaming: "I'm in love! I'm in love!" He has also yet to feel a need for speed or Scientology. But David did speak to Tom on the phone about his post-England life. Says Dave: “He talked about everything I had done in the World Cup, about the goals I scored and the goals I set up. He said I was a great player, that I played for Real Madrid, I’ve got a healthy family and three boys and a wife who love me to bits.” Tom might even have told David about Scientology, how it is the new Kabbalah and puts added bend in your balls. If not added bend in your mind.

robbie williams' therapy

Robbie Williams’ latest musical offering is awful. What Robbie needs is a shoulder to cry on, and so much the better if this shoulder is slim and covered in absorbent cashmere. Like the shoulder atop one corner of socialite Tara Palmer-Tomkinson. She has been hanging out with the singer. Tara is delivering a little therapy of her own to tired and emotional Robbie. “Robbie has decided not to read what anyone writes about "Rudebox." He doesn’t let the criticism get to him,” says T P-T. But how does Robbie know about the criticism if he doesn’t read the critics? Does he instinctively know it's rubbish?

no bum notes

“I’ve forgotten what that feels like and I’m really excited,” says George Michael. We shudder. No one likes to think of themselves as a prude. And we remain to hear more. “You’re beautiful... thanks for coming,” adds George. Say what you like about the singer, but you can’t fault his manners. George is giving a public performance before a crowd of 18,000 fans in Barcelona. It’s George’s 25th-anniversary gig, and it’s his first proper live show in 15 years. This is no slight on George’s recent improper shows, notably the George Michael Unplugged concert on Hampstead Heath, his mystery performance in a balaclava at a London hotel and the conzzzzzert in his Range Rover. Really it is not.

gordon’s tonic

It’s Gordon Ramsay. Gordon knows all about life. He’s written a book about his own. Having removed all the expletives and personal insults, we've managed to get the remaining text down to under 100 words of vital stuff. And you readers now learn that Gordon once paid for heroin for his drug-addict brother, Ronnie. It was the only way Gordon could be sure his brother would get to their father’s funeral, a man, conveniently, also called Gordon. Of the funeral, Gordon says: “It was horrible. It was organised by my dad’s partner Annie in a Margate crematorium. It was so characterless it might as well have been a branch of Tesco.” Well, at least a supermarket burial is one way to recycle a cardboard box.

lindsay speaks

Lindsay: Drop the bottle when you’re writing a eulogy.

Following the letter Lindsay Lohan posted in response to the death of her A Prairie Home Companion director, Robert Altman, she’s either proven that her wasted brain is beyond recovery or that she’s the product of a very bad on-set tutor. By the end of Lindsay Lohan’s heartfelt message I was so confused I felt like I was under the influence of some unidentified substance:

"I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle. I feel as if I've just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches…The point is, he made a difference. He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

So every day when you wake up.

Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful. Life comes once, doesn't 'keep coming back' and we all take such advantage of what we have.

When we shouldn't..... '

Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves' (12st book) -everytime there's a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,

BE ADEQUITE

Lindsay Lohan”

Lindsay hasn’t made a movie people liked since Mean Girls, so I highly doubt she’s earned the right to be making up fake Latin sayings like “Be Adequite.”

[fritz]

And I should give a shit about they say because ?

[faceless]

[eefanincan]