Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 2:09 pm Post subject: Dolphins begin their plans for global domination!
Dolphin war on humanity kicks off Thursday, December 28, 2006 Dolphins - Fear them
It has begun. The first skirmishes in the long-rumoured dolphin war on humanity appear to have started, as a New Zealand woman lies critically injured in hospital after a flying dolphin attacked her boat. The dolphins – hyper-intelligent creatures that communicate in sinister, high-pitched cackles – have previously been content to lie docile in the waters, watching humanity keenly and closely, and occasionally accepting fish. But the incident off new Zealand's North island on Tuesday suggest that they have decided 2007 will be the year that they rise up, and claim the planet that they see as their birthright. The woman was severely injured when the dolphin jumped out of the water onto her boat, shattering its windscreen and knocking over several people.
John Skerrow, a crewman on the helicopter that trasnported the woman to hospital, described the attack: 'Absolute freak of nature - the dolphin launched out of the water and landed in her chest and bounced off and carried on swimming away from the boat.' No dolphin spokesman was available for comment.
It was bound to happen and I'm not at all surprised.
Look at how humans have used them for their own purposes? Flipper was a huge star and humans made a good bit of money off him. When they were finished they simply tossed him back into the sea and now he's all washed up and skint. I think this is the beginning of the end of civilization! Stockpile water, dig out your shelters for the end is nigh!
GAINESVILLE, FL—Although dolphins have long been celebrated for their high intelligence and for appearing to have a complex language, a team of researchers at the University of Florida reported Monday that these traits are markedly less evident on dry land.
According to study researchers, a group of 25 bottlenose dolphins removed from their holding tanks failed 11 exercises designed to test their basic cognitive abilities and reasoning skills.
"The dolphins were incapable of recognizing and repeating simple gestures," said study co-author Dr. Scott Lindell. "Their non-verbal communications were limited to a rapid constriction and expansion of the blowhole, various incomprehensible fin motions, and heavy tremors while they lay prone on the lab table."
After capturing the dolphins from the ocean, Lindell and his colleagues tagged them and placed them under the intense, high-wattage lights of a moisture-proof lab. The researchers then administered an extensive battery of tests designed to measure everything from the dolphins' self-awareness to their aptitude for writing and reading comprehension.
"Dolphins have a popular reputation for being excellent communicators," Lindell said. "But our study group offered only three types of response to every question we posed: a nonsensical, labored wheezing, an earsplitting barrage of unintelligible high-pitched shrieks, and in extreme cases, a shrill, distressed scream."
Even the dolphins' proven ability to navigate through a form of sonar called echolocation was ineffective on land.
"The military has claimed great success in training these mammals, utilizing their echolocation skills to detect mines that have been placed underwater," said Lindell, who conducted a similar experiment in a concrete parking lot. "We were unable to replicate this finding ourselves."
Lindell added: "In most cases, the dolphins succeeded in finding land mines only when we placed them directly on top of the mines."
In another test, several pounds of mackerel were placed on the ground, separated from the test dolphins by only 20 feet of concrete. The dolphins were unable to reach the food and feed themselves.
Despite their failures in the initial series of tests, the animals were given further opportunities to demonstrate their intelligence on land. The dolphins were unable to display novel behaviors, use a map to pinpoint their location on campus (spatial reasoning), or complete a simple obstacle course and wall climb.
"Their learning curve was actually negative," Lindell said. "The more time we gave them to complete basic land-based tests, the more pitiful their efforts became, with many of them opting to bask in the sun rather than perform a simple task."
"In some cases," Lindell added, "the dolphins appeared to be looking directly into our eyes, as if pleading with us to help them perform better in these tests."
Many scientists believe these findings may help to explain why dolphins, for all their vaunted intelligence, have never developed technology or agriculture, or harnessed the power of fire—skills still exclusively in the domain of Homo sapiens.
Said Lindell: "Their failure is a great disappointment to all of us who once felt an intelligence-based kinship with these majestic animals."
GAINESVILLE, FL—Although dolphins have long been celebrated for their high intelligence and for appearing to have a complex language, a team of researchers at the University of Florida reported Monday that these traits are markedly less evident on dry land.
According to study researchers, a group of 25 bottlenose dolphins removed from their holding tanks failed 11 exercises designed to test their basic cognitive abilities and reasoning skills.
"The dolphins were incapable of recognizing and repeating simple gestures," said study co-author Dr. Scott Lindell. "Their non-verbal communications were limited to a rapid constriction and expansion of the blowhole, various incomprehensible fin motions, and heavy tremors while they lay prone on the lab table."
After capturing the dolphins from the ocean, Lindell and his colleagues tagged them and placed them under the intense, high-wattage lights of a moisture-proof lab. The researchers then administered an extensive battery of tests designed to measure everything from the dolphins' self-awareness to their aptitude for writing and reading comprehension.
"Dolphins have a popular reputation for being excellent communicators," Lindell said. "But our study group offered only three types of response to every question we posed: a nonsensical, labored wheezing, an earsplitting barrage of unintelligible high-pitched shrieks, and in extreme cases, a shrill, distressed scream."
Even the dolphins' proven ability to navigate through a form of sonar called echolocation was ineffective on land.
"The military has claimed great success in training these mammals, utilizing their echolocation skills to detect mines that have been placed underwater," said Lindell, who conducted a similar experiment in a concrete parking lot. "We were unable to replicate this finding ourselves."
Lindell added: "In most cases, the dolphins succeeded in finding land mines only when we placed them directly on top of the mines."
In another test, several pounds of mackerel were placed on the ground, separated from the test dolphins by only 20 feet of concrete. The dolphins were unable to reach the food and feed themselves.
Despite their failures in the initial series of tests, the animals were given further opportunities to demonstrate their intelligence on land. The dolphins were unable to display novel behaviors, use a map to pinpoint their location on campus (spatial reasoning), or complete a simple obstacle course and wall climb.
"Their learning curve was actually negative," Lindell said. "The more time we gave them to complete basic land-based tests, the more pitiful their efforts became, with many of them opting to bask in the sun rather than perform a simple task."
"In some cases," Lindell added, "the dolphins appeared to be looking directly into our eyes, as if pleading with us to help them perform better in these tests."
Many scientists believe these findings may help to explain why dolphins, for all their vaunted intelligence, have never developed technology or agriculture, or harnessed the power of fire—skills still exclusively in the domain of Homo sapiens.
Said Lindell: "Their failure is a great disappointment to all of us who once felt an intelligence-based kinship with these majestic animals."
It's quite clear to me what's happening. They're playing stupid, and the reason for doing so is they have deeper and darker plans for us all.
Sure they'd do the ole head nod and happily take a fish from our hands, but them days are long over my fellow humans. Soon they'll be lobbing your arm off and spitting it in your face because they want to take you down....yes down!....especially if you're a republican!
Now when this happens, don't come crying to be because I'm giving you fair warning. Move far inland and dig those shelters as I said in my prior post, because you're going to need them. Soon all sea creatures will be adapting to land and it's going to be out and out war, with dolphin generals leading the pack.
And for god sakes don't come crying to me if you're not prepared when it happens, and don't knock on the door of my shelter because you're not getting in! Ye snooze ye lose
It's quite clear to me what's happening. They're playing stupid, and the reason for doing so is they have deeper and darker plans for us all.
Sure they'd do the ole head nod and happily take a fish from our hands, but them days are long over my fellow humans. Soon they'll be lobbing your arm off and spitting it in your face because they want to take you down....yes down!....especially if you're a republican!
Now when this happens, don't come crying to be because I'm giving you fair warning. Move far inland and dig those shelters as I said in my prior post, because you're going to need them. Soon all sea creatures will be adapting to land and it's going to be out and out war, with dolphin generals leading the pack.
And for god sakes don't come crying to me if you're not prepared when it happens, and don't knock on the door of my shelter because you're not getting in! Ye snooze ye lose
I'm impressed by your survivalist attitude. These buggers come in 40 different species, and each one is ready to cause grief to man and (land)beast. What we need is a campaign of awareness to bring this to the public's attention. Comedians can bring the idea into the higher echelongs of society, but we need TABLOID coverage!
It's quite clear to me what's happening. They're playing stupid, and the reason for doing so is they have deeper and darker plans for us all.
Sure they'd do the ole head nod and happily take a fish from our hands, but them days are long over my fellow humans. Soon they'll be lobbing your arm off and spitting it in your face because they want to take you down....yes down!....especially if you're a republican!
Now when this happens, don't come crying to be because I'm giving you fair warning. Move far inland and dig those shelters as I said in my prior post, because you're going to need them. Soon all sea creatures will be adapting to land and it's going to be out and out war, with dolphin generals leading the pack.
And for god sakes don't come crying to me if you're not prepared when it happens, and don't knock on the door of my shelter because you're not getting in! Ye snooze ye lose
I'm impressed by your survivalist attitude. These buggers come in 40 different species, and each one is ready to cause grief to man and (land)beast. What we need is a campaign of awareness to bring this to the public's attention. Comedians can bring the idea into the higher echelongs of society, but we need TABLOID coverage!
It's quite clear to me what's happening. They're playing stupid, and the reason for doing so is they have deeper and darker plans for us all.
Sure they'd do the ole head nod and happily take a fish from our hands, but them days are long over my fellow humans. Soon they'll be lobbing your arm off and spitting it in your face because they want to take you down....yes down!....especially if you're a republican!
Now when this happens, don't come crying to be because I'm giving you fair warning. Move far inland and dig those shelters as I said in my prior post, because you're going to need them. Soon all sea creatures will be adapting to land and it's going to be out and out war, with dolphin generals leading the pack.
And for god sakes don't come crying to me if you're not prepared when it happens, and don't knock on the door of my shelter because you're not getting in! Ye snooze ye lose
I'm impressed by your survivalist attitude. These buggers come in 40 different species, and each one is ready to cause grief to man and (land)beast. What we need is a campaign of awareness to bring this to the public's attention. Comedians can bring the idea into the higher echelongs of society, but we need TABLOID coverage!
See, it's talk like that that's made people so apathetic about these bastards in the past - can't they see that there are Dolphin moles (!!) in human society who are feeding this kind of propaganda out so that we are lulled into a false sense of security?!
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Jaws ain't got nuttin on them!
