Crap Criminals

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I'm guessing these are from that site you mentioned, Pirty

[pirtybirdy]

Most likely. I have a couple on my other computer from there that I like to post on Facebook for shits and giggles. Actually, I think you can post directly to facebook from that site. When I see a really funny looking character, I post it with a caption. lol

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Bungling thieves ‘steal jukebox instead of cash machine’
25 Feb 2013

Two bungling thieves reportedly stole a jukebox from a Hooters restaurant instead of the intended target of a cash machine. Video footage shows the not-so-smart tandem reversing a pick-up truck into the US chain, which is known for its scantily-dressed waitresses, NBCSanDiego.com reported.

After working out the entrance to the restaurant would not be big enough for the truck to fit through the men instead decided to tow the jukebox out of the establishment and then lift it onto their vehicle. However, as they were after the cash machine they probably weren’t too pleased when they realised they had actually stolen the music player.

It is not certain whether the men, who are in their late teens or 20s, had ever been to the restaurant, but regular patron Steve Price believed so. ‘Maybe with all the drinks and all the “hooters” going around, their brains were just not thinking straight,’ he said.

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Leeds sewer escape crook still missing
Sam Casey
09 May 2013
yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk
Two men have been arrested over a burglary that sparked a manhunt in Leeds’s sewer system. As reported in the YEP, a suspected burglar was feared to have died after escaping into the sewers via a storm drain under Hope Road near the city centre on April 28. Police confirmed two men, aged 26 and 40, have been arrested and bailed over the break-in on nearby Mabgate. But they are still in the dark about what became of the missing man.

A spokesman said: “Police are continuing to liaise with Yorkshire Water around the man who is believed to have entered the sewer. A comprehensive search of the sewer system has been conducted but nothing has been found.”

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Please leave the premises immediately!

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Robber used 'plastic gun' to hold up bank
Adam Binnie
30th September 2013
watfordobserver.co.uk
A robber used a toy weapon to raid a Garston bank, according to an eye witness. Garston pensioner Joan Debbins was in the Lloyds bank in Garston Park Parade on Friday morning, when a man entered wearing a balaclava and motorcycle helmet. He demanded money from the staff while waving around what appeared to be a pistol, but Ms Debbins, who had a better view of the weapon, realised it was a fake.

She said: "I was at the counter being served when this man walked him. I thought he was a security guard. I was standing right by the side of him. He started shouting ‘money, money, money, give me the money’. The girls behind the tills were petrified. I turned around and said "that’s a plastic gun". It was so obvious, I thought he was an idiot. It was the kind of thing you would have bought for your kids. It had no trigger and no hole at the end of the barrel, so I knew there was nothing coming out of it."

The man then fled the bank and pedalled away on a bicycle. Armed police arrived and detained all the customers until 11am. Ms Debbins said: "I’ve tossed and turned in bed thinking about it and what I could have done. My kids have told me off because I think I could have done something. Everyone is telling me I should have kept my mouth shut."

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Robbery Suspect Friends Woman on Facebook the Day After Robbing Her
Dayna Evans

Riley Allen Mullins, a 28-year-old man who is suspected of robbing a woman while she waited for the ferry in Bremerton, Washington, requested his victim's friendship on Facebook the following day. The woman was waiting for a ferry when she was struck on the head, after which the robber took her iPod and purse. She didn't recognize the man but took note of a triangle tattoo on his neck.

When she checked her Facebook the next day, a man who looked suspiciously like the robber had friended her, triangle tattoo and all. Authorities confirmed that the Facebook belonged to Riley Allen Mullins, and he was charged with second-degree robbery.

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Man fined for pretending to be ghost in Portsmouth cemetery
Police spokesman says witnesses complained about Anthony Stallard 'throwing his arms in the air and saying woooooo'
The Guardian,
August 7th 2014
A man has been fined for pretending to be a ghost and other rowdy behaviour in a cemetery. Anthony Stallard pleaded guilty at Portsmouth magistrates court to using threatening or abusive words or behaviour likely to cause distress.

The court heard that the 24-year-old had been out drinking with friends when they went to Kingston cemetery in Portsmouth, where they started to play football. A Hampshire police spokesman said that witnesses complained to police about Stallard's rowdy behaviour and his pretending to be a ghost. "The witnesses reported the group engaging in rowdy behaviour and one of them throwing their arms in the air and saying 'woooooo'," he said. Stallard, of Southsea, Hampshire, was fined £35 and ordered to pay a £20 victim surcharge and £20 in costs.

He also had an extra three months added to a conditional charge for previous harassment which he was found to be in breach of, according to a Crown Prosecution Service spokeswoman. A charge of causing criminal damage to gravestones was dismissed.