Paul Kerensa

[faceless]

Kerensa's comedy equations
By Marissa Burgess

ON the comedy circuit Paul Kerensa is known for one of the most wonderfully geeky routines in comedy. Only Chris Addison, who based a whole show around the periodic table, has surpassed him in the nerd stakes - as Kerensa revisited his school maths class for inspiration and came up with a gag that, amongst other things, reduces even chat up lines to algebraic equations.

“I still keep [the cards] in the back of the car just in case I’m asked to do it, because occasionally when I get to a gig they insist on it but I’m not doing it as much as I used to,” he notes of the gag. The routine was proof that the time spent travelling to gigs isn’t wasted. “I was bored on a train basically, I had a six-hour train journey and started just scribbling down Malcolm X, ooh you could make an equation out of that.

Simultaneous equation

"If Malcolm X is a 1993 film and therefore X equals 1993 film over Malcolm, work this whole thing out by simultaneous equation and I worked out that 99% of men are called Malcolm. "So I thought I’ve got to use that somehow.” Wouldn’t anyone after discovering that gem of a mathematical breakthrough?

For the last four years he’s written a solo show for the Edinburgh Fringe and though none have delved any deeper than GCSE level into mathematics they have all explored a passion that Kerensa has nursed. “After I did Back to the Futon (based on Back to the Future) that went down pretty well and a lot of people said oh great what’s he going to do next year, Ferris Bueller’s Day Off or Karate Kid? I just thought I don’t want to be the ‘80s film guy, the reason I did it is because I really happen to like Back to the Future and I really like 24 (the TV show inspiration for his first solo show).

Afterthought

"I really quite like the book of Genesis (the third show) if I’m honest and I also wanted to try and listen to different types of music (as explored in this year’s Ipaul) - so really the only reason I’m doing these things is because I’m interested in it and I fancied doing it. That’s probably a downside for me, I should probably go where the comedy is but instead I’m going with what I’m interested in.”

Though it’s given him plenty of opportunity to explore his hobbies, Kerensa almost didn’t become a stand up. Many comedians are trained actors, but initially for Kerensa the stand up was just an afterthought. “In our last class (at drama school) before we left they sat us down and told us that half of us would never get on stage ever again, quite depressing. They said, ‘a bit of advice, on your CV to get acting jobs, put anything you can do. If you can sing put that down if you can dance put that, direct, stage combat…'

Enthusiasm

"I had nothing and everyone else did. That very same day I noticed a stand up comedy evening class down the road, an hour a night once a week for six weeks so I thought I’d give it a go so I’ve done it and put it on the CV and get loads of comedy work. I went along and loved it.” It’s fortunate his enthusiasm for the art was so great as the actions of the unscrupulous promoter of the first gig he performed at would have been enough to put anyone off. “He charged me a tenner because I told him it was my first ever gig so he just took advantage thinking ok I’ll tell him this is how the circuit works. By my second time back at the gig I’d cottoned on to this having done some other gigs. I said, ‘no, this isn’t how it works, you told me that everyone pays a tenner to perform every night.’ He said, with a sly wink, ‘well you can’t blame me for trying,’ well I can...”

Good job he wasn’t put off as for the good people of Manchester this week he has a special treat lined up. Though the equations routine may or may not make an appearance in his forthcoming Manchester shows, one thing is for sure. He will be revealing his non-existent navel.

“True, I shall be revealing my lack of belly button live on stage. I have no navel… last night I did it on stage and someone just heckled ‘freak!’ Normally if someone heckles ‘freak’ at you, you’d argue back but I really couldn’t having no ground to stand on so fair play. In fact that’s the only time a heckle’s ever been valid, so well done.”

So has he ever met anyone else with such a freakish torso? “I went to a conference last year and I’m going to one next year in America just to meet some other belly buttonless folks. Neither an inny or an outy but a smoothy,” he announces with a touch of pride.

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FREAK!