3D porn made me pregnant!

[faceless]

Woman says 3D porno made her pregnant
Husband claims "anything is possible"
07 May 2010
Dean Wilson
techeye.net

An American woman claims she became pregant after watching a 3D porno. US military man Erick Jhonson came home from a stint in Iraq to find that his wife was pregnant. Clearly he assumed she had an affair, but his wife Jennifer claims the “other man” was actually someone a little less physical. It seems he actually buys her story, however. “I see it as suspicious. The films in 3D are very real. With today’s technology, anything is possible,” he said.

What's even more interesting is that both Jennifer and Erick are white, but the child is black. Jeniffer claims the kid looks like the black pornstar she had been ogling. She also claims this was one of the first times she's watched porn and only went with friends for the 3D effect. TechEye did a survey of one person and found 100 percent would say the same thing in a similar situation.

“Even though my husband believed in me, my marriage could be at risk,” Jennifer said. “But he knows I’m faithful.” It just shows you what joining the military does to your head. Jennifer explained that “a month after watching the movie, I started feeling dizzy and the results were positive.” That must have been one good porno.

3D movies have gained renewed popularity since Avatar, but there have been some concerns raised over how bad they may be for your eyes. Now you'll have to worry about conceiving in the cinema. You may have jumped when an object in film was thrown at the camera, but now you'll have to be careful of other, far more uncouth things flying at you. TechEye recommends contraception for your next trip to the cinema. You never know.

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[Mixxa]

My story is even stranger. My wife walked in on what looked like her sister giving me a BJ. I explained that I had been browsing the BBC News website with my trousers around my ankles because of the heat, when an avatar in the shape of my sister-in-law popped out of a pop-up that just popped up from nowhere and proceeded to perform extremely realistic fellatio upon me. Needless to say, my wife was not totally convinced. However, she believes everything she reads on the Internet, so a few more true stories like this should get me out of the doghouse.

[major.tom]

Somebody seriously needs to sit that couple down and explain the birds and the bees to them before they cause severe bodily harm to themselves or an innocent bystander.

This information belongs in their "too stupid to (fill in the blank)" file for easy access by law enforcement.

[faceless]

A week ago we published an article about a woman who claimed to get pregnant after watching a 3d porn movie. The article was fake and we used a photo that we found on the internet. Unfortunatelly, the article spread around the world because some sites thought that it was real. That was not our intention. Sensacionalista is a small site from Brazil. We never thought that this could happen. That’s why we are asking this family to accept our sincere apology. That woman and her baby in the photo had nothing to do with this article. They are just a normal family trying to live they’re own lives. We apologize for taking their photo and wrongfully putting it in our article. Please, do not publish this article again and next time check what you read before you write. This site is a humor site. Nothing here is real.

http://sensacionalista.virgula.uol.com.br/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=156:mulher-engravidou-vendo-filme-porno-3d&catid=40:mundo&Itemid=113

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no way - I refuse to accept it's not true!

[major.tom]

I wonder...



I was about to rethink my entire opinion about 3d movies.

Faceless, did you translate that from Portuguese?

[faceless]

no, I saw it on some other site... though google translate is pretty good these days

[Skylace]

My father was in the military, and told me they have a word for these kinds of babies (ie. ones where the guy is gone for 6 months and comes back to a wife three months pregnant) He told me they're called "grudge babies" because "somebody else had it in for ya!"

[faceless]

haha, that's a cracker

[SquareEyes]

I'm going to get controversial now...

Anyone who is irresponsible enough to volunteer to go into the armed services should be sterilized on the day they sign the papers. No kid wants to find his parent has been killed for no good reason (which is usually the case). Get a safe job where you can have a good chance of being around to bring your kids up properly, without tragedy.

The pen is mightier than the sword :p

[faceless]

Can't say I disagree in principle Squarey, but there are many jobs which don't involve being in frontline action of course...

[SpursFan1902]

And many other non military jobs that are just as dangerous...police, firefighters...

[Skylace]

I'm glad my dad didn't square as well, I wouldn't be here. He was a psychologist for many years after the military as well. On the road a lot, could have died that way, or could have been killed by a patient, or by a parent in one of the custody evals who didn't like the way things went. My mom worked at a doctors office, it could have been robbed and she could have been shot. I was an elementary school teacher for years and had a parent waiting for me in the dark of my classroom one morning and we all know about school shootings. Yes, military jobs, police jobs, fireman, etc are dangerous but getting into your car everyday to drive to your desk job is dangerous too. I drive an hour on the road both ways to work each day, I've had many near misses. There are no guarantees.

[SquareEyes]

OK, Sky, but I still feel you shouldn't have done that to Batman. Poor bloke was only trying to make a difference.

[Skylace]

Fair enough. But I can't help that a man dressed in leather likes it a bit rough.