Civil War Part 2

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Civil War Part 2

It’s on I guess. Not exactly like the first Blue vs. Gray or the still going on Bloods vs. Crips but a real life war right here in America. Who’s running it? From what I can see the generals on the Gray side work for Fox News and the brass ordering the Blues around get paid by MSNBC. Yeah, there’s CNN in there somewhere too but they’re kinda like Italy, whoever they last talked to they like the most. The reason they’re fighting is not about slaves or drugs, no it’s more about being right than anything. So since both sides think the other is out to deep 6 this country I’m thinking real soon it’s gonna get more ugly than Sean Hannity’s back acne.

Yeah the Health Care thingy that passed is a big deal now but it’s really a buttload of other stuff that’s pissed off the Gray team. Ever since Obama moved into their White House and they’ve had to watch him pretend he was the president they have gone bat shit crazy. No way now anyone is gonna to tell the Tea Baggers to calm the fuck down and deal with it cuz they will shoot you in the face. See that’s the thing, the guys on this team are so strapped they scare the pee out of anyone who doesn’t own a couple flame throwers or a tank. You may hear some relatives of these people say that they’re harmless God fearing Americans but that’s what those parents in that scary Yugoslavia place said about their pissed off kids too. Don’t think their food fight turned out well for at least one side. Does anyone really think that if Obama just said my bad, forget about this health care idea of mine, lets go back to the way things used to be, the Gray freedom fighters would walk away happy? Ummm, not gonna happen. Not now cuz they smell blood and it’s not their own.

So what is really causing them to think about re taking Texas, South Carolina and about 8 other states from the Blue side? I think they call it seceding or something. On their tv channel they say the word taxes a lot. That could be it. Or maybe it’s the government take over of Wal-Mart and Cabela’s. That could have lit the match for sure. Some would say it’s money the government owes those sneaky Chinese people. I hear they own like 68% of America right now. I hope not cuz I’m allergic to MSG and it makes me bloated. Others say it’s all about Communism. Or Nazism. Or Pelosism? There’s so many ism’s I can’t keep track of em all these days. I do know for a fact Fat Boy Not So Slim Limbaugh is flat out sick of all the uppity people who don’t have much asking for more than nothing. He wants a gated country (not from like Mexico but from everyone who doesn’t look and smell like him) but it would cost so damn much unless he kicks in some of his elephant bucks (not gonna happen) it would never get off the ground so BFD I guess.

You’d think the ex frat boy dudes and sorta blondes from Fox News would tell their team to Google that place called South Africa. It would only take a couple minutes and save a lot of wasted energy. I mean their head cheese Roger Ailes knows how this thing is gonna turn out here in America but his on air posse crosses their fingers and toes as they keep egging the troops on 24/7. Kinda mean huh? Maybe a lot of republicans can’t handle arithmetic but most of the Gray big wigs can so if they really cared about their team members they would give them a heads up that they may be able to stir up a shit storm but they will never, ever again have the numbers to return to the days of Reagan, Fallwell and Anita Bryant. I’m talking ever-ever cuz they are being outnumbered by (colored people) each day. Pretty soon there will be more hermaphrodites in this country than hard core right wingers. Why? Mostly because just as in places like Pretoria and that Johannesburg town white people started shrinking. Not like a new t-shirt washed in hot water and stuck in the dryer too long but like having less of them around. Not much anything they can do about it though the Mormons are doing their best to help out. So it makes you wonder, why are they beating their heads against the wall here? I mean they can still have play dates and tea parties. They can still hold a John Birch Society meeting or a go on one of those militia camping trips but why? What a freaking waste of time.

Now the Blue team has it’s own stuff to deal with, like having millions of them in Congress and until this last week not being able to do crap. If the Gray squad had half as many guys on their team right now they wouldn’t mess around like these pussy Democrats. No, they would just buy a bunch of ships and start sending the non believers to Iceland or someplace where they could never find their way home. They are Tony Montana and the other side is Tony Romo. A freaking killer and a nice guy who can’t win the big one. Not a fair fight. The people on MSNBC try to slap the other guys around but they just seem so sweet, ok Olbermann and Maddow have balls but the rest are as tough as a piece of lint. That Chris Matthews thinks he’s bad but his street cred is a joke and the token gray guy Morning Joe? C’mon. Oh and Dylan Ratigan is a newbie so the bottom line here is the blues will always be chicken to slug anyone back. For years they just turned the other butt cheek whenever they got dissed cuz they didn’t want to look mad, now after passing sorta Health Care Reform I’m betting they’ll just smile and say “scoreboard baby” but hey, maybe that does feel better than a sucker punch or a tire iron “Chicago style” to someone’s knee.

Who knows where this thing is going? It could be a short war or it could go on until there’s no one left standing except a talk show host or two in a bombed out bunker somewhere. At least in 6 months or so I can finally see a doctor for that hernia that’s been bugging me since high school. Anyway, I gotta go now and get me some night vision goggles and a gas mask. You never know. For the first time in a long while I’m not worried so much about a wacked out terrorist from that sandy part of the world taking me out. No, I’m scared shitless that someone born right here in the good old USA is gonna find out that I voted for Obama (maybe I shouldn’t have said that) so I’m asking you keep it to yourself for now. It’ll be our little secret. That is unless the blue side wins then you can tell anyone you want. Thanks. Later.