Rush Limbaugh's Tail

[jsaw200]

I’ve been wondering for like a bunch of years why Rush Limbaugh was, well not a real nice guy and now I finally learned the answer. After I found out the reason it made it a lot easier to understand why he always seems to be having a bad day. I was at the library this week and used that Googly place on their computer, I think it was named “Sacrococcygeal Teratoma.” It sure would be easier for regular people if doctors just called it what it is, a dude with a tail.
Some people have said it was like 10 inches or so long before they cut it off when he was a little kid. Man his parents were smart cuz it’s tough enough for boys in PE that haven’t had their thingy trimmed up, but a tail would be total hell for anybody, even one of the Jonas Brothers. I didn’t find anything saying what they did with it after they cut it off. Like did they donate it to a place where they could study it? Or a circus cuz it could have been transplanted on a bearded lady and she could make a ton of cash? I know I would pay 10 bucks to see someone walking around with a tail. Toss in a beard and we are talking maybe 30 bucks. I guess after they cut it off it still was sorta there which really came in handy later in like 1970 when he was about to get drafted. I’ve heard all sorts of angles guys used to get out of going to that Viet Nam country but Rush got totally screwed over with the tail deal. I guess the Army thought if he ever got caught by the other side they would take pictures of his ass and put them up all over the place to make fun of the USA. So just because the military big wigs didn’t want us to look like a country of freaks they just gave him one of those get out of war passes and told him to get lost.
I know this must have really bummed him out cuz he seems like a guy who would dig kicking the ass of a small country. I bet he would have jumped at the chance to have been in the infantry too where he could have gotten a lot of exercise and blown up stuff. To take this away from a guy is not fair. Me personally, I think they should have just taken the chance that the enemy would never have gotten a decent photo of it as this was way before those digital cameras were invented and they would have had to like drive out of the jungle a long way to a drug store to get them developed. It was worth the risk I think.
In the romance area I guess it must have been one hell of a cock block with the ladies too. I mean it’s tough enough being tubby and balding at 17 but having more than one of those appendage things ain’t a walk in the park either. Think about it. What do guys worry about more than just about anything in their lifetime? I’m talking more than being cut by their little league team or being audited by the IRS? It’s being sized up by women and he had to deal with both sides of him. Now that would mess up any guy so yeah, he's pretty pissed off most of the time. This must have been why he’s been married like 3 times and engaged to a bunch of other ladies.
One more thing I found using that Googly place on the internets, there’s a lot of stuff about Rush being homosexual. Who would have guessed that one? Not me. I just don’t buy it. If it’s true then why did he waste all that wedding cake? No, I think if Rush Limbaugh was gay he would be more mean to them. Like most guys his age who don’t like that funny feeling in their packages when they see Tom Selleck on the tube. It freaks them out. Sure he’s said fags are disgusting and an embarrassment to this country but he hasn’t said they should be locked up forever. I guess he only thinks druggies are the ones who should be tossed away for good. He really hates drugs. Maybe if it was a gay drug user he would have them put to sleep but he really doesn’t say much about homo’s on his radio show so I’m thinking he might not be totally gay. Maybe a tri sexual or something.
The thing a little while ago that made some people think he was the great grand kid of Satan was his advice to not send any cash to that Haiti place with all the black people. I never would have thought of it until Rush brought it up but I guess Obama said our country would help them cuz it would get him some cred on the street with the brothers. Pretty smart of him huh? Save a few lives there and maybe everyone at the barber shop will forget he’s half white. Rush is a pretty smart man. People need to remember just cuz he says a lot of things that are ugly and kinda cruel, he could be way, way worse. Just think how you’d be if you had a tail! Don’t know if that Hitler dude or those guys from that sandy part of the world on 9/11 had tails too but I’m betting there is a good chance. How else do you explain such flat out evil? People are mean for a reason. You know what I'm saying? So next time he says something that makes you want to puke and you think about calling Rush bad names, remember what you read here. It’s time everyone just showed him and that freaky thing on his ass some love. Later

[funkyfunkpants]

[Brown Sauce]

I can't start to read this stuff.

Until the screen contrast approaches that of print, the poster must use some sort of compromise.

Spacing out paragraphs or long sentences isn't a whole lot of work, but makes it a lot more readable.