Joe Lieberman

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Pretty much everyone went to school with someone like Joe Lieberman. You know the type, first to raise his hand when the teacher wants to know if anyone knew the answer to whatever, first to ask if he/she needed any help carrying stuff to his or her car after school and first to run for class president. Every year. Why? Because guys like him really need to be sorta popular, even if they have to be a whore. Whatever it takes cuz without a rear end to smooch he would be a regular dweeb like you/me. The kind of people that are invisible and the Joe Lieberman’s of this world couldn’t handle that. No, that wouldn’t be ok.
When I was at the library yesterday I decided to google this dude and found out a butt load of info on him. Like he’s even more of an Eddie Haskell than I had thought. I mean if there’s something that really big freaking companies need, Joe’s their man. Places that sell drugs, insurance and war stuff mostly. So not real hard to figure out why he’s trying to kill this health care dealy bob. Single payer? Public Option? Medicare buy in? Whatever the hell those things mean, he’s against it. Why? Don’t even need to burn the calories typing up the answer. Some people might say “he’s no different than any of the other politicians” and yeah if they’re talking about Republicans they’d be right but even though for the record he’s kinda like Switzerland (an Independent) he gets to be a big cheese committee dude with the Democrats. Pretty sweet deal huh? For him. Not so much for the elephant people. Seriously, I’ve never seen a group of people get screwed so bad since watching the Devil and Miss Jones. You’d think the Dem’s would tell him to get lost but no, they seem to like taking it up the place where it sorta hurts sometimes.
How did this guy get so far being such a mondo weasel? Flash back time to the year 2000 and Al Gore is thinking about who to tap as his VP against Bush 2. Of all the hacks he could have picked he chooses this asshole so as much as I dig the guy who made it possible to watch porn on a computer it’s really Al’s fault. On the day he made up his mind and called Lieberman I gotta believe he felt like taking 2 or 3 showers after he hung up. Yeah, Joe would be the first Jewish vice president but big freaking deal. I mean my mom’s Jewish and no way I pick her to be co captain to the leader of the free world! Looking back I think Al knows this was about as bad a draft pick bust as Sarah Palin. If he had won Joe would have spent every single day hoping his boss would swallow a hunk of gristle down the wrong wind pipe and not have to bother with the whole grassy knoll thing. Talk about high maintenance!
So why you ask doesn’t the party that has around 60 votes in that senate club without him kick the guy to the curb and piss on his comb over? I guess there are way more smart people out there than me that know the answer to that one but until someone gives me the real 411 I will continue to think he has some really good dirt on just about everyone in the party. More than pictures of some of them spending quality time with girls who charge by the hour. More than video’s of them playing on the monkey bars with some of those Alan Kada dudes. Even more than cancelled checks from the same companies that bought his soul. If you had to ask me though I’d say there’s a real good chance that last one is almost a sure thing.
Some people say you get what you deserve in life. If you’re a Democrat like me I guess Joe Lieberman is our bad. We’re supposed to suck it up and be nice to the uncle who gives everyone the creeps. Why? Cuz he’s family. Even though maybe real soon there’s no health care for people without good jobs and a ton of dough. Maybe real soon we will bomb that Iran place. Maybe real soon we will only have one party. Right now I’d rather not think about it so I’m gonna hit the couch and watch another Celebrity Sex Rehab episode. Later.