Sexuality...
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Mandy



Joined: 07 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Fri Nov 16, 2007 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Marcella-FL wrote:
was it at least HIS bike?


If not, I surely hope he would have done the honerable thing afterwards.
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faceless
admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Wed Nov 28, 2007 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


Car fetishist jailed over 'sex act'
November 28, 2007

Lots of men like cars but one motorhead has taken things to a new level after being found 'pleasuring himself' on a car roof. Oh dear. Sandy Wong was discovered masturbating on roofs of classic cars on display at the Home and Garden Show, in Edmonton, Alberta. 'Mr Wong is a sex offender, that is what he is,' said prosecutor Kimberly Goddard. He was sentenced to 90 days and put on probation for two years.

The court heard from psychiatrist Dr Curtis Wood who said Mr Wong claimed he is 'sexually attracted' to cars because 'it's curveed like a woman's body, the sex appeal, it felt good'. Certain cars apparently get him going more than others - he really likes the 1967 Camaro and a 1955 Chevy Bel Air. But it's all the owners fault, he claimed, as they are so thoughtless leaving their vehilces parked all over the place.

It is not the first time he has been prosecuted for car 'sex crimes'. In 2005, he was arrested for jumping on a 2005 MiniCooper outside a pizzerie. He proceeding to drop his trousers and pants and began to 'tuck, rub and bounce his naked genitalia' against the vehicle. He has also a 'sexual capitivation' for motorcycles. And if it can't get any worse, he has a long criminal record for property offences and arson.

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It's a good looking car for sure, but it's certainly not got feminine lines - I wonder if he's secretly a gay car fetishist?

Laughing
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major.tom
Macho Business Donkey Wrestler


Joined: 21 Jan 2007
Location: BC, Canada

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 1:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

faceless wrote:
'it's curveed like a woman's body...'


Hmmm. Not like any woman I've ever dated. Kind of boxy if you ask me...

Quote:
But it's all the owners fault, he claimed, as they are so thoughtless leaving their vehicles parked all over the place.


I can't believe he resorted to the, "she was asking for it" defence. This must be a first.
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Mandy



Joined: 07 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gives new meaning to "taking a car for a ride"
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faceless
admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


Sex doll cock-up
By James Fielding
www.newsoftheworld.co.uk

A mannequin manufacturer is attaching warning stickers to its shop dummies - after a man mistook one for a sex doll and got his penis stuck. The 31-year-old - who cannot be named for legal reasons - bought the female bust from the Displaysense online store for 38. But he got more than he bargained for when he trapped his manhood inside a 24mm hole designed for a display stand.

The pervert from Doncaster, South Yorks, was left in a tight situation and feared he may have had to call out the fire service to help free him. Luckily, he managed to waddle into his kitchen with the plastic dummy still attached, grab a pair of scissors and release himself-giving new meaning to the phrase 'I'm free!'

Rather than keeping quiet about the embarrassing episode though, the fuming punter then rang up Displaysense to COMPLAIN. The company's sales team were forced to stifle their laughter as the man blasted the product's "user friendliness" and demanded a refund. Steve Whittle, marketing manager, said they were now considering issuing the mannequins-used by a number of high street stores-with warnings to prevent any repeat.

He said: "These busts are for display purposes only and no-where on the website or in the products packaging does it state that they should be used for adult means. During the phone call the gentleman in question demanded a refund on the now dismantled female bust at which point the refund request was politely refused. He had purchased the display bust by accident after mistaking it for an adult toy.

"Due to the durability of the display bust, he became concerned that the fire brigade would need to be called to liberate him. But thankfully, a pair of heavy duty scissors were able to cut apart the female bust to release him and relieve his delicate area. After freeing himself, he made an angry call to us to complain about the user friendliness of the female bust and that it was not what he had ordered.

"The fact that one of our display busts has been used in an unusual fashion has stunned and embarrassed the entire sales team. We've just added these busts to our range and we normally expect some initial teething problems but not in our 30 years of business have we experienced such an incident. We are now going to place a warning on the new display bust section to prevent such ludicrous situations from happening again.

"It's so bizarre that we have to warn people that our mannequins are for display use only and not for recreational use."

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24mm?! I doubt I could get my finger in that, let alone anything else!

Laughing
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Mandy



Joined: 07 Feb 2007

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

faceless wrote:

24mm?! I doubt I could get my finger in that, let alone anything else!

Laughing


So it's true ? You can judge a man's intelligence by the size of his .......


p.s. It reminds me of the story that if two dogs get hooked during copulation, it is impossible to seperate them without causing major internal damage to the female. I can't recall what the remedy was (other than just waiting)
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eefanincan
Admin


Joined: 29 Apr 2006
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 4:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:

"It's so bizarre that we have to warn people that our mannequins are for display use only and not for recreational use."


I wonder if people who try this sort of thing would really care about some warning label?
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Aja
Reggae Ambassador


Joined: 24 Jun 2006
Location: Lost Londoner ..Nr Philly. PA

PostPosted: Sun Jan 20, 2008 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
.s. It reminds me of the story that if two dogs get hooked during copulation, it is impossible to seperate them without causing major internal damage to the female. I can't recall what the remedy was (other than just waiting)



Do Dogs really get stuck after sex ?


Yes this is very true and the term for this is called "a tie". This is due to the bulbis glandis of the male dog's penis swelling after it enters the female, thus preventing the male from withdrawing from the female until after the swelling has subsided. This is a completely natural occurrence that can last anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes, and does not hurt either one of the dog's. The worst thing a person can do is to try and pull them apart because that can cause trauma to both dogs.


So Mandy Do Not Throw water over your dogs ..or try to pull them apart Smile
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faceless
admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 2:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

there is actually a way to separate them - but it involves some acrobatics.

The reason the dog gets stuck is because its cock is like a branch on a tree being bent round - if you bend it the wrong way there's a lot of reverse pressure, which is what happens inside the bitch if the dog falls off and back.

you just have to reverse the process - I don't want to say how as it might be done wrong, hurting the animals, and the way I found out might be drawn into question also... haha
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eefanincan
Admin


Joined: 29 Apr 2006
Location: Canada

PostPosted: Tue Jan 22, 2008 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm learning so much in this thread Laughing
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faceless
admin


Joined: 25 Apr 2006

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


Nude man charged with having sex with table

A married father of three faces indecency charges after allegedly having sex with a picnic table. Art Price Jr, 40, was seen doing the dirty with the garden furniture at his home in Bellevue, Ohio, on four occasions by a neighbour. The neighbour, who hasn't been named, says that he saw Mr Price turning the table over before performing the sex acts on it.

Police officer Matt Johnson said: 'He was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table.' Just to add a touch of class to his furniture-copulation, Price reportedly carried out his naked table-boffing in broad daylight, very close to a local school. The fourth time, the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence.

Officer Johnson commented: 'Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around.'

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ooyah! wow
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SpursFan1902
Pitch Queen


Joined: 24 May 2007
Location: Sunshine State

PostPosted: Tue Jul 08, 2008 9:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And how is this supposed to make his wife feel? "Sorry, honey, I would rather have sex with the lawn furniture...It's not you, it's me..." Boy, what a boost for your self esteem! Laughing
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Ash



Joined: 22 May 2007
Location: Al-Ard

PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 3:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

sky, that comment (bike-sexual) is too funny Laughing Laughing

faceless wrote:
... the neighbour videotaped the alleged table-sexing as evidence.


I wouldn't be surprised if it appears on youtube Laughing
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nekokate



Joined: 13 Dec 2006
Location: West Yorkshire, UK

PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm never going to feel the same again when a man tells me he's going to lay the table.
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luke



Joined: 11 Feb 2007
Location: by the sea

PostPosted: Wed Jul 09, 2008 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nekokate wrote:
I'm never going to feel the same again when a man tells me he's going to lay the table.


Laughing

men lay the table?! Shocked i think you're getting confused neko nyer
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