UK TV's hall of shame

[faceless]

The White Heather Club, one of the most popular shows to come out of Scotland, has made it on to a list of the worst television programmes in the past 50 years. The author of a new book claims the show is held in disdain similar to that accorded to racist gags, unconvincing pirates, and a quiz show co-hosted by a dustbin. Jeff Evans, who compiled the latest edition of The Penguin TV Companion, scoured British archives to come up with the programmes which, he believes, should have had viewers lunging for the "off" button.

The White Heather Club first aired in 1958 and was a couthy blend of bothy ballads, country dancing, and comic songs that became a staple of Hogmanay schedules. But Mr Evans said: "Surely one night a year is enough? Even the Scots must have had their fill. Strangely, it carried on through into the 1960s. The Welsh eventually got their own back with their own Land of Song." Despite his comments, The White Heather Club notched up 10 years of what many viewers saw as shortbread-tinged greatness every Tuesday night. The show featured legendary entertainers like Andy Stewart, Jimmy Shand, and Joe Gordon.

Also rated among the worst television shows was The Adventures of Long John Silver (1957) which saw Robert Newton hamming it up as a rolling-eyed, grog-swilling ship's cook in a series of "strangely empty plots" set on a Caribbean island. "It featured background music so dreary it seemed to be stolen from a crematorium," said Mr Evans. Moving into the 1960s, there was the flop series My Mother the Car (1965), whose plot involved a man finding his mother reincarnated as a car, who continued to nag him in her afterlife via the car radio.
Next on the author's hit-list was Junior Showtime (1969-74), described by him as "a nauseating variety show full of precocious kids", although it did make stars out of Jack Wild, Bonnie Langford, and Joe Longthorne.

Curry and Chips in 1969 was branded "one racist gag too far" while the 1970s saw its successor, Mind Your Language (1977-9), star Barry Evans as an evening class tutor trying to teach English to "stereotyped, mutually intolerant continentals".
Then there was 3-2-1 (1978-87), a "second-rate variety" quiz show offering clues that "even MI5 couldn't crack". It was hosted by finger-twiddling Ted Rogers and Dusty Bin. The year 1991 brought viewers Cop Rock in which Steven Bochco, successful creator of Hill Street Blues, thought he was on to a winner when he intercut a crime drama with rock, soul, gospel, and other bursts of music. Sadly, the audience disagreed. Also featured in the publication is Robert Kilroy Silk's low moment five years ago, when he hosted Shafted. The premise was whether two contestants could trust each other enough to share the proceeds of a jackpot. ITV pulled the plug after just a few editions.

----------------

There was also another Scottish country music programme called "Thingummajig" that ran in the 70s and 80s that should be included here... christ - what a nightmare that was, presented by "the laird o Coocaddens!"