Crap Criminals

[pirtybirdy]

Couldn't he see that it was closed from a distance? Doesn't he do his simple research before even going to the bank, such as bank hours? What a total amoeba!

[eefanincan]

You're right pirty...... you'd think someone would check the hours of the bank before showing up to rob it

[faceless]

Welsh rugby star charged with drink driving after 'taking golf buggy down motorway' following Six Nations win
15th Feb 2010

Disgraced rugby player Andy Powell was kicked out of the Wales squad yesterday after it emerged he drove a golf buggy drunk on the hard shoulder of the M4 for more than two miles. British Lions star Powell took the 15mph cart from a luxury hotel he was staying at after an all-night drinking binge following Welsh team's dramatic 31-24 victory over Scotland on Saturday.

The 28-year-old back row forward, nicknamed 'brain dead', has been charged with drink-driving after being found behind the wheel of the vehicle at a nearby service station.
Andy Powell Last night the Ezgo buggy was impounded by police in a secure compound sandwiched between sports cars and speedy quad bikes. A pair of black Under Armour pants - worn by Powell and the Welsh squad - were still lying in the back.

Powell took the buggy at 5.30am on Sunday from the four star Vale Hotel and Resort, near Cardiff, which is the Wales team's headquarters during the six nations campaign. Along with a friend, a 28-year-old male from Powell's home-town of Brecon, he drove from the hotel's golf course onto the hard shoulder of the M4 motorway at junction 34 to a service station at junction 33. But the pair were spotted at Cardiff West services at around 6am and were arrested by police. Powell failed a roadside breath test and a second test at a police station. Both men were arrested on suspicion of stealing the golf buggy.

Impounded: The Ezgo buggy that Andy Powell drove drunk along the M4, with a pair of Under Armour pants on the back

Yesterday Powell apologised for his behaviour. His agent Mike Burton said on his behalf: 'Andy was disappointed and embarrassed to find himself in this position. 'He does not excuse or condone drink driving in any form and it was a misjudgement. He is sorry and he will face up to it.'

Wales team manager Alan Phillips said: 'We take matters of player conduct extremely seriously and have been happy with the professionalism and discipline of this squad in general terms. Andy knows he has misbehaved and is apologetic, but he also knows that he must take responsibility for his own actions and accept the repercussions. This kind of behaviour cannot be tolerated in a professional, elite sporting environment and we have acted quickly and incisively in order to leave no ambiguity over the dim view we take of this situation.

'The player has made his private apologies to the Welsh management team as well as apologising in a public statement and we have also asked him to apologise to the Vale Resort Hotel, before asking him to leave the squad.' Powell was bailed to appear at Cardiff Magistrates' Court on March 2 - where he faces being stripped of his driving licence

His behaviour was a sorry end to a night of massive celebration for 6ft 4in Powell and his Welsh team-mates after beating Scotland with a stunning last-gasp effort. Earlier in the night the sozzled star was snapped lying half-naked on a sofa in Cardiff's Revolution vodka bar and fans had seen Powell celebrating with ripped trousers and black pants lying on the sofa in the bar.

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nicknamed 'brain dead'

[faceless]

Fugitive mafia suspect's location revealed on Facebook
A suspected mobster's love of Facebook proved to be his undoing when Italian police tracked him down thanks to updates on the social networking site.
By Nick Squires in Rome
16 Mar 2010

Pasquale Manfredi, 33, who called himself "Scarface" in tribute to the gangster film starring Al Pacino, is wanted for killing a rival mobster by blowing him up with a rocket launcher. Police said he was a keen user of Facebook, updating his profile regularly. He used an internet key to log onto the internet, a device which enabled police to pinpoint his location in the town of Isola Capo Rizzuto in the southern region of Calabria.

He was reportedly chatting on Facebook when his flat was raided by armed officers in the early hours of Tuesday. He reportedly tried to flee across nearby rooftops but was stopped by police.

One of Italy's 100 most wanted mafia fugitives, he is believed to be a powerful member of the Calabrian mafia, the 'Ndragheta. Police said he was a "cold and cruel" assassin who had allegedly carried out several murders. He is accused of killing a rival clan leader, Carmine Arena, in an attack with a shoulder-fired rocket launcher in October 2004. He also faces charges of drug and weapons trafficking, extortion and mafia association. He was allegedly a specialist in the use of heavy weapons, learning how to fire them on makeshift ranges in remote areas of countryside.

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Would Tony Montana have had a facebook page? 'Say hello to my little friends'

[pirtybirdy]

hahaha! Nice one!

[Kezza]

[faceless]

Bank robbers call ahead to reserve bag of money
Police in Connecticut had a rather easy job apprehending two bank robbers - because the suspects called the bank in advance and told an employee to get a bag of money ready.

Police arrested 27-year-old Albert Bailey and an unidentified 16-year-old boy on robbery and threatening charges at the bank in Fairfield, Connecticut on Tuesday afternoon. Apparently confusing bank robbery with buying take-away food, they had helpfully rung ahead to order a bag of $100,000 in large bills, and also asked if they could get that without dye-packs.

'You can't make this stuff up,' said Fairfield police spokesman Sgt. James Perez. He said that the pair turned up at the bank about 10 minutes after making the call - where they were met by police in the parking lot. In a masterpiece of understatement, Perez told local newspaper the Connecticut Post: 'I would classify these individuals as "not too bright."'

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[pirtybirdy]

Is this for real? They can't be that dumb. If I were the bank, I wouldn't have even called the cops thinking it was a prank. I'd have never thought that people would actually show up to collect it. Very strange.

[faceless]

Man tries to escape police by jumping into prison
A motorist attempting to escape police in America must have thought he'd given them the slip when he abandoned his car and jumped over a fence - only to realise that he'd landed in a prison yard.

Police in Garfield Heights, a suburb of Cleveland, Ohio say that the badly thought-out escape attempt followed a high-speed chase, which reached speeds of 90mph. The chase ended when the driver and his passengers abandoned the vehicle. The driver and one of the passengers made a break for the nearby fence, and scaled it - apparently not aware that it was the outside fence of the state women's prison.

The two prison-breakers were arrested, along with two other passengers who chose to flee in a different direction.

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[faceless]

'East Side' tattoo gives away rubbish burglar's identity
Congratulations to Anthony Brandon Gonzales, who has gained fame for ignoring the number one rule of crime: if you don't want to be identified, don't have the words 'East Side' tattooed on your upper lip.
May 24th 2010
metro.co.uk

20-year-old Gonzales is a suspect in the April 'home invasion' of a house belonging to an Elvis impersonator in Pueblo County, Colorado. A witness to the break-in told police that one of the culprits had an 'East Side' tattoo in place of a moustache. According to police reports, despite the fact that the criminal was wearing a mask, the tattoos were still clearly visible.

Gonzales also has a stylised number '13' tattooed on his chin in the shape of a goatee. Given that Gonzales was already in jail on a separate drug charge, tracking him down didn't prove terribly difficult. He has now been charged with the Elvis impersonator burglary as well. Sergeant Eric Bravo noted, with masterful understatement, that 'it's hard to miss him.'

[faceless]

Bungling thief trapped in charity clothes bank

CCTV operators spotted him climbing into the container - used to collect donated clothes for the Whizz Kidz charity - in Bury, Greater Manchester. When police arrived, the man told them he was trapped and couldn't get out - and after the police were unable to free him, they called in the fire service and their saws.

But faced with the prospect of being sawed at, the man finally managed to find his own way out. Fireman Paul Marston said: ‘We told him not to panic, then next thing the chute banged open and a head appeared.’

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There was a story recently about a homeless guy who died after getting his head caught in one of these...

[pirtybirdy]

That bin looks like a nice and clean one. I have seen some bins that I wouldn't want to put my charity clothes in, never mind trying to crawl into one.

[faceless]

Man attempted car hosepipe murder in Brechin
The High Court in Glasgow heard Cannon failed in his murder attempt as his car had a catalytic converter
20th July 2010

A man who tried to kill himself and his girlfriend by switching on his car engine and running a hosepipe into the vehicle has been jailed for six years. Dennis Cannon's attempts were foiled because his Audi had a catalytic converter and his girlfriend managed to open an air vent.

The High Court in Glasgow heard the incident happened last September when Cannon stopped at a lay-by in Brechin. Cannon pulled into a lay-by, claiming he wanted to talk to his girlfriend Diane Perry. He then smashed her mobile phone before repeatedly punching and kicking her on the head and body. Ms Perry, 38, managed to escape but Cannon dragged her back into the car.

Laura Thomson, prosecuting, told the court he kept her in the vehicle for three hours with the engine switched on and a hosepipe through a rear window allowing fumes to enter. She continued: "The intention of the accused at that point was to end both his life and that of Ms Perry. However, due to the car having a catalytic converter, which had the effect of reducing carbon monoxide in the fumes, the attempt was unsuccessful. Ms Perry had also managed to open an air vent without him noticing."

The court heard Cannon conceded defeat and said: "This German car ain't going to kill us." He drove Ms Perry home before she called the police the next day. Lord Bannatyne told him: "This was an extremely nasty offence lasting three hours. It must have been terrifying for the complainer." He jailed Cannon for six years and placed a supervision order on him for a further three years on his release.

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More of mad shitty bastard criminal than a crap one, but still...

[pirtybirdy]

Ah, well I think a sub thread is warranted.

[faceless]

yeah, 'Crap Criminals who are also Fecking Arseholes!' has a ring to it... haha