Love Island Discussion (May contain Spoilers)

[Ally]

Batten down the hatches and put an arm round your partner, Jackass big shot Steve-O is now here, and the whole Island is practically rocking!

?I?m not really going in there with an agenda,? he told us, head-banging gently by the pool.

?All I?ve really shown the world about myself is a lot of idiotic self-mutilation and humour, which I?m proud of, but I?m really here to have an all-expenses paid vacation with hot chicks!

?It sounds like a lot of fun, and I think people are going to get to see a side of me that the world just hasn?t been exposed to.?

So for those of you are a wee bit hazy as to stunt whiz Steve-O?s previous work (and if that?s you, where have you been all these years?!), here?s the ?fall-out? from the worst of his Jackass shenanigans gone horribly wrong.

?I jumped off a balcony, and when I met the floor, it was with my face,? he explained. ?I broke my cheekbone (which means I brag about having broken my skull).

?I broke seven teeth, I got ten stitches in my chin and I got a broken wrist. That was my worst fall. All of these teeth are crowns and veneers?not dentures!?

Erm, lovely?! So just how is the action man going to woo our gentile young ladies?

?I could be all cheesy and say, ?Oh, I do a great massage!?? he laughs, and believe us, you know when he?s laughing!

?Maybe my dazzling good looks, and my cut, toned physical shape!?

But one thing?s for sure when he arrives on the Island, sexed up Steve-O?s a gentleman at heart, and won?t be treading on any tanned toes.

?As much as I love having sex, I don?t want to disrespect any of the women or the dudes,? he says.

?I it?s think respect that makes the world go round. In my career I don?t hurt anybody but myself.

?I?m a tough guy, so I can do some pretty mean things to myself. But I honestly want to approach this for what it is ? the chance for people to see a side of me they haven?t seen.?

[Ally]

Crikey! Paul Danan has only been in Love Island for about thirty seconds and already the whole place has gone haywire.

Couples that we thought were getting it on aren?t couples anymore. Father Shane has finally felt a stirring in his loins. And our favourite Love Island lothario has already popped the big one to a Playboy bunny (it really is deja-vu).

And that?s just for starters!

You see, everyone is slightly peeved by Paul?s appearance. Sophie and Victoria have already vowed to boot the boy out at the first possible opportunity. Chris and Brendan were mildly miffed that he cracked on to Colleen. And Lee has taken a world of bad advice from the man.

Phew - did you get all of that?!

So it?s safe to say that in the space of two short days, Paul?s impact on the Love Island peace has been somewhat profound.

But is he going to find love?

Well, at the moment it seems unlikely (although we?d never put anything beyond him). Because Paul has a crush on Bianca. But Bianca has a crush on Leo and Leo is rather partial to a bit of B. So partial, in fact, that it looked suspiciously like they were having a cheeky tickle under the duvet last night!!

This has obviously upset Lee (who also has a crush on Bianca), who has now invited his darling Danan to share his bed. Just as ex-Hollyoaks friends?honest!

Phew (again)!

But it doesn?t stop there! Seriously, if you missed this episode, you missed sooo much!

Sophie has warned everything with a pulse to stay away from Shane. This has annoyed Lady V a little because Lady V quite likes Shane. Shane, however, has confessed to Kelle that he?s about ready to join the orderly queue forming behind Colleen.

And in the final twist to an epic episode, that queue just got a little bit longer.

Yes, if you thought that adding one jackass to the show was a good idea, then adding another one is pure genius. Jackass legend, Steve-O is swinging by Love Island tomorrow, and it looks like he might well out-Danan our very own Paul.



I don?t know about you guys, but we need to go and have a lie down in preparation for one heck of a week ahead!

[lilycup]

It really is heating up YES! I do love a bit of Love Island. It's light, easy entertainment. And at the moment I like more people in Love Island than I do in BB.

[Ally]

[lilycup]

I know, the island is gorgeous! Everytime I watch Love Island I just want to hop on a plane and go to Fiji.

[Ally]

[lilycup]

[Ally]

[lilycup]

They really don't know what they're missing. Love Island is a well worth a watch! There's plenty of eye candy for the ladies and gents.

[HandoGod]

Steve-O gets the big kick up the jacksee (they chucked him out). A jackass indeed!

[faceless]

[Ally]

Steve-O no, no!



Steve-O? Steve-Go, more like! Yes, the man that made Paul Danan look like a beacon of sanity finally walked away from Fiji last night, but not without sending some serious shockwaves through the resort.

Luckily, where there is nonsense, sanity can so often be found. And today, to help us make sense of an utterly farcical situation, we thought we would turn to that small, yet perfectly formed orifice that is the Mouth of the Tyne (aka. Jayne Middlemiss).

Yes, never one to mince her words, Jayne was quick to condemn the American?s actions.

?The thing that I?m thinking is that when you?re in there it?s the whole thing of you having to relinquish your power,? Miss Middlemiss mused. ?He?s got a problem with authority, number one, and then there?s the whole thing of having to relinquish his power.

?He gets his power by doing really mad stuff and getting attention. But as soon as someone says to him ?you?ve got no power? that?s when he just absolutely flipped out.?

The man didn?t flip out, he lost it. But why Jayne? Why did he do it to us? To them?!

?He was speaking for nobody but himself. He was speaking about having no power ? that?s my take on it.

?I think that?s what it?s about. It?s about a power struggle.

?He didn?t even have the foresight when he was saying ?I?m doing this for the good of the group? to see how uncomfortable every single member of the group was getting.

?It was bang out of order for him and it was just howay! What, because you haven?t got your drinks on time?!?

And there we have it. The wisest of the wise has spoken and cast her judgment: Steve-O was clearly nuts (but I guess we knew that before he even went on the show).

[Ally]

Who loves whom?
:kiss3:
Given that you could probably count the cumulative number of brain cells owned by our happy campers on one hand, they?ve managed to make this whole falling in love thing seem remarkably complicated.

So complicated, in fact, that the little picture thing we were going to try and do to explain who loved whom just stopped making sense.

But ten days in, we thought it was about time we explained the intricacies of the little Love Island affairs as they currently stand. So who fancies whom? Here goes (in no particular order - other than an alphabetical one):

Bianca
Bianca likes Leo and Leo likes Bianca. Pass us a bucket, that?s just too sweet. Bianca also seemed to have a shine for Steve-O, but he?s gone now.

Brendan
Has a few issues, we think. Couldn?t date Kelle for reasons that are too stupid to write about, so now he?s joined the queue for Colleen.

Chris
Chris fancies Colleen. And himself. We?re not really sure if anyone fancies him, though. Although maybe Lady V does.

Colleen
Colleen is loved by everyone. Seriously, man, woman, coconut all want a bit of the blonde bombshell. But if we?re being specific, Shane, Brendan, Chris, Lee and Paul are all up for it.

Kelle
Poor old Kelle! Brendan the ballet dancing bigot isn?t interested and she seems to be floundering in a sea of loveless frivolity. Someone giver her a hug!

Lee
Having had his heart broken by B, the little fella has turned his attentions to Colleen.

Leo
Leo loves Bianca. But he was also partial to a bit of Alicia, it seems.

Paul
Hmmmm. Aside from anything with a pulse, he?d probably be partial to Bianca, Colleen, Lady V, Kelle or maybe even Lee. Who knows?

Shane
Shane loves God. But when he?s not loving God, he?s rather partial to a bit of Colleen. But who fancies Shane? Could it be...

Sophie
Tough to work out who she fancies. Could it be Father Shane? Maybe. Maybe not. ARE YOU BLIND???!!!! The woman?s a bloody bunny-boiler who can?t take a hint from our wise old owl.

Victoria
Tough nut to crack. We reckon she likes a bit of Chris, but playing her cards close to her chest.

[Ally]

Sophie is a wack job and I hope she keeps her hands off Shane. Mind you he hasn't fancied her one bit and she just can't seem to get a clue.

How many times has he told her he thinks of her as a friend, like family, reminds him of his sister. He's trying to let her down gently but she just doesn't seem to hear it. :grr:

[Ally]

What makes Steve-O angry? Not getting his f**ing coke on time you *************. You can't f****** treat him like that. He's famous, dude!

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