George's One Man Show Tonight...

[Colston]

Very very good.

Just home after a long drive back to Bristol and have work at eight in the morning so will attempt a review here later tomorrow.

[faceless]

excellent - look forward to it. If anyone else has any pictures of video, get it up!

[nekokate]

I am praying someone somewhere took some video and is planning on YouTubing it!

[Salim201]

so am I! i was thinking of actaully going down last minute to see if there would be any tickets on the door but changed my mind to watch the footy. hopefully be some good footage though

[popinjay]

If the plane to London hadn't been nearly two hundred quid, I would have went myself.

Was it full? Were those tarts there?

[Colston]

There was a guy videoing bits and pieces of it... plus some people using their cmaera phones...

[Colston]

The first half of the show was George polemic.

He opened with a couple of jokes… and I am the type of person who doesn’t remember jokes!

NOW I remember at the end!

He said that he had been walking around Hackney and that it wasn’t that bad. Certainly not in comparison with Dundee! He said he came from a rough school. (Later said he was a handful!) They went on a school trip to a safari park (60+ miles - abroad [lots of laughs]) on their knackered old school bus. They were going round the park and the bus broke down and they summoned the park rangers (boos from George!) for help. Well the bad boys upstairs started to smoke… banged opened the emergency window to let the smoke out. The they climbed out of the window and were standing around outside the bus when the rangers turned up shouting “the lions… the lions…”

“We weren’t gonna fucking touch your lions…” [lots of laughs]

The other was about politicians being ugly… ‘What do I know about that…’ said George.

He prowled about the stage in a smart suit and balck shirt, no tie, fondling his rosary. He opened up with some ideas about what he wouldn’t be talking about….

• he wasn’t anti America – but their government
• he wasn’t anti Labour – but anti New Labour
• he wasn’t gonna talk about the war – there was no one left to argue with… when he debated this at the oxford Union only IDS came to support the war!

He talked about Keir Hardie founding a party on his own in order to represent the views and concerns of Labour in the face of criticism from the TUC who suggested people of Labour should ally themselves with the Liberals. The Liberals of course representing the owners of the means of production… and there being a conflict of interest.

He is worried that Gordon Brown will inherit the crown just in time to lose the country to a bunch of Old Etonians which will be devastating for the people who need their interests being represented by a party of Labour and that although Labour had never lived up to expectations they were responsible for all the good that was done by the UK government in the last century.

He noted that the UK political system produced landslide majorities from less than a majority of the people. He noted the 85% turnout in the recent French election.

He noted some of his old connections with Brown and Reid. He told a funny story about walking his dog, Gordon, for the first time on Clapham Common and coming across a copse of trees thriving with homosexual activity. Worried about the example of Ron Davies, he said being a tough Glaswegian man he put on his most macho voice and shouted GORDON. All went quiet and a quiet effete voice peeped back. “I’m here…” He said of course that he wasn’t suggesting that Gordon Brown was in the bush. [lots of laughs]

He did the ‘either they were lying then… or they are lying now’ comparison about the New Labour people who had allegedly ‘very left wing leanings in the 1970s/1980s…’ John Reid has apparently not denied being a communist, but has said that he also used to believe in Santa Claus… but “not when you were 32 and with a PhD hey John!” He suggested the first time he met Alan Milburn was through a cloud of dope smoke at his bookshop in Doncaster.

He talked about the special relationship with the USA and Monica Lewinsky and Blair’s upcoming knee cap surgery… [lots of laughs]

The Iraq war would have consequences that would affect the youngest person in the audience’s children… at least 100 years… if it was a blunder or a crime. He wanted Bush and Blair to be prosecuted for aggressive war and to receive as punishment each other’s company in a single cell for the rest of their lives. No death penalty for George. Blair was either too stupid or too wicked to have been PM.

He noted the success of Talksport and his own show having a 130% increase in audience figures over the last three months (don’t quote me on that time span…) Just before the questions some regular callers took a bow… He also reaffirmed his challenge to Jon Gaunt to ‘get in the ring’ at York Hall – laying down the gaunt-let. He mentioned selling tickets to raise money for a charity of Gaunt’s choice. He told the old Ali story of chasing Sonny Liston around with a pot of honey calling him a big, ugly bear. He said he would chase Gaunt until he agreed to fight him saying for him he would be chasing a “little, fat pig.”

At the end of this section he introduced Karl from Plaistow, an excellently dressed white jacketed, bespectacled, white haired black beret’d ‘ole fella.’ George suggested Burgess Meredith and Karl came back with Robert Redford as the best comparison.

The second section was a question section from the audience… he opened with a woman… “I like to open and close with a woman…”

The first question asked him about twinning London with Beirut – would he do it if he became mayor. He noted his helping Dundee twin with Nablus. The female conveyor of the stop the war coalition will be standing for RESPECT and hopefully although she won’t win she will get on the London Assembly as a by product of standing in the mayoral race. He noted that he would be asking supporters to vote for Ken Livingstone as second preference as he would be a better bet than a fat cat Tory.

The second asked him what he would have done if he was USA President on 9/11. “Not read children’s books for seven minutes… (he gave the name)” [lots of laughs] He gave himself permission as an Irishman… when being asked for directions to say…”Well I wouldn’t start from here…” [lots of laughs] He talked about the swamp of hate and the three things he would do to drain it.

• Palestine – allow the people to have their land and homes back
• Iraq/Afghanistan – withdraw troops immediately
• Propping up corrupt kings and dictators – stop that NOW


An American political refugee asked about the education system and suggested that we only educate the kids that are already doing well and can be easily educated and that there are 33% of kids that are not educated. Was this not the root cause of the ills of the UK? George suggested that it was a symptom and not the cause. That it was a consequence of the capitalist system. He spoke about his own experience of school. The eleven plus had just been abandoned and his teacher chose him for the second stream of schooling. He said if that would have happened we would never have heard of him – he would have worked in a factory and when they closed he would have become long-term unemployed. However his dad appealed the decision to a committee of local councilors and won and George went to a school where he met boys who read books… and made reading books cool – and not a bad thing. He was able to strut about with Laurie Lee’s ‘As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning’ under his arm. He didn’t go to university but was appalled by the fact that all the cabinet had done for free and with a grant (except John Prescott [lots of laughs]) and now had removed that from our kids… he said he had been interviewed by some journalism students recently and he had to explain to them what a grant was.

Karl asked what he thought of Hugo Chavez… he said he was a lion standing up to the USA. He said he told him to calm down! Hugo asked him ‘was he the real GG?’ He noted that he was withdrawing from the World Bank and the IMF (in response to another question) and setting up a bank of the south, a university of the south etc. He said he asked Castro about him as he wondered whether Fidel was jealous of the upstart. Castro replied that five years ago he would have died unhappy as he project appeared to have failed. Thanks to Hugo he could die happy as his banner had been picked up and that they were doing better then he did. George wasn’t sure of that! He was asked whether his love of the Kennedys and of Castro/Guevara was a contradiction. He said not. He said Teddy was the best and that through Jack-Bobby there had been improvement. He didn’t agree with everything as with Barack Obama who he hoped would win the US election if he wasn’t assassinated. He noted how New Labour celebrated the right wing victory in France and also wanted Bush to be reelected. How low had they got?

Someone asked whether it wasn’t the fault of new Labour but that the UK system doesn’t allow governments to do anything without cooperation from the elite. George said he sued to believe this but that he knew plenty of people high up in the civil service, military and the secret service and that all of them knew how disastrous the war would be and most told Blair. Blair did what he wanted nevertheless.

A man asked George about his opinion on drugs… he referred to ‘the stupefication of the masses....’ He gave examples of his early life and the prevalence of alcohol in Dundee amongst working families and the wages that didn't get brought home to feed and clothe families that had been spent on a pint and a bet.... He said he was against legalising anything that would lead to more use and as a revolutionary having stupefied people made revolution much much harder to achieve.

The last but one question was from a UK born Pakistani Muslim who said that him and four or five friends were flying into Miami… did George have any advice on avoiding detention and trouble? George suggested shaving that morning and packing a big packed lunch. [lots of laughs]

The last question allowed George to end on a high note and a partial standing ovation. He seemed quite touched and held his hand over his heart. Can’t remember the question or answer!

Overall he was excellent... very funny and at the same time very poignant – arguing for the need for an inclusive system of politics that values everyone's blood, aspirations and needs equally. I introduced myself before the show and he asked me where I had come from and informed me that people has come from as far a field as Wales and the Midlands. I sat next to a great guy from Dudley ( I passed this address on to him!), and the audience was as diverse as I’ve seen an audience anywhere for anything. There were lots of fans of the show! Some people were congratulating him on which I think (from adding 2+2 so I hope it isn’t 5!) was the birth of a son.

I hope I have put the bits in the right order and in the right section – my little grey cells are good but not perfect!

[faceless]

excellent rundown colston, cheers

the safari park sounds like it would have been Blair Drummond

[Mandy]

I concur .. excellent Colston.

The lion story would have been apt even in today's society .. where too many kids arrogantly think they are invincible .. which is associated with gang culture.

[luke]

nice one colston, wish i'd gone now, sounds really good

but what about popinjays question?

[Colston]

[DavidGig]

Your grey cells are working fine. Wonderful review.

How were questioners chosen, randomly? How big did the crowd seem -- was the theatre full? What was the setup that allowed you to introduce yourself -- was he milling about the audience before or after the show?

[Colston]

[major.tom]

Excellent summary, Colston. That's must more exhaustive than I had hoped for.

Cheers!

[mickyv]

Many thanks for the review Colston; it was almost like being there !

It's missing events like this which is one of the few regrets I have about leaving London.